Am I being unreasonable and too sensitive?
Context, first trimester my partner was deployed and a month near the end, he was due to deploy again but baby came early.
He's just als been away for 6 weeks. We don't live local to barracks so it's a weekend situation.
Been told he's not on the next 6 weeks one but asked if he should put his name down
He sees it as extra money, but tells me he wants to leave the job. I have just recently left.
I've tried to tell him that with no family nearby and a very clingy baby mon- Fri is
hard enough on my own.
He tends to tell me last minute or says he doesn't know about deployments ( which is quite possible) I feel he doesn't like to bring them up because he thinks I don't want him to go. Honestly I'd rather him be home but I know the job so get it but I'd rather know but feel with this next one he's not down for he wants to pick money over being back when he knows how hard it is for me at the minute
Just need a rant and maybe some opinions
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I'd be a little bit upset too. My partner is missing pretty much the first six months of our pregnancy and I'm upset about that alone.
Is money a concern? Is he worried about getting money in for the family? Could you possibly go stay with family whilst he's deployed?
Maybe worth having a frank discussion with him, tell him that you need him home if this deployment is "optional" because you are struggling and you need his support.
Money isn't a concern but he's quite tight and feels the need to have loads in savings. He's wanting to pay mortgage off in next 5 years.
Family isn't really an option to stay with. I just feel like I look forward to weekends when he's back so I can reset my head and breathe a little.
Just unsure how to approach it because he feels like I don't like him going away when in my head it's like he'd rather be away
I can totally relate. My other half is stingy as well.
How old is baby? Maybe it needs to be a compromise of having him home for this deployment, especially when it does seem to be optional as we know the next deployment is very unlikely to be optional. It's okay to express that you want him home, I think in some ways every military spouse does. Give yourself some grace to be vulnerable in the conversation and see how it goes xx
Could you make a support system near you? I'm sure mum's wouldn't mind travelling a bit to support you. I'm in Pirbright, feel free to pop me a message if you're around that area and I know some people Harrogate way
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