Naming our child

You should get to name her since you agreed to stop at two. And no way I'm allowing my husband to name my daughter after a girl he knew. Honestly I think every name should be mutually agreed upon. But with the back story you gave I'd put my foot down. He sounds ridiculous and selfish

He's something

No way would I let him name her especially after a girl he knew over a sibling who passed. My daughter is named after my mam - when we first spoke about kids I told him if we ever had a daughter I'd like to do that. Luckily he liked the name too. When we found out it was a girl straight away he was the one who said that was her name. When we had our son he chose the name really but we both liked it. We had narrowed the list to two, it worked out was one suggested by each of us but wasn't planned like that - both of us liked them and I let him choose which we went with because our daughter was more me deciding. He chose after his brother who passed. There were other names suggested by both of us which the other vetoed until we were both happy with the names left on our list.

You should decide together. If one of you doesn’t like a name, don’t use it out of respect for your spouse

I agree with Amalia, I would never give my child a name if my husband didn’t like the name and vice versa even if you did love the name. I had a gorgeous name for a little boy which I absolutely loved but my husband hates it so I knew we couldn’t use it (we ended up having a girl anyway) but it’s about respect. Also I would never allow my daughter to be named after a female my husband knew. I think that’s a bit strange (although I don’t have all the facts)

Basically they were childhood friends and one day she was twisting on his arm and said she'd only let go of he named his first daughter after her. And he agreed so he could have his arm back. I'm sure she was goofing around, but he took it literally and is still insisting. The name I picked is after my sister that I lost a little over a year ago.

Not a chance I’d let him name her! Haha. One each is fair, regardless of gender! Also a passed sister ALWAYS trumps a joke between a friend from years ago

A name of a baby is something you should both decide. If he's already picked the first baby's name then you should pick the second. At the end of the day you are the mum and when you get her registered you will pick the name and if you want the dad there/if you want his name on the birth certificate. I would tell him he's being selfish and you get a choice too and if he can't deal with that then he won't be coming to register the birth x

I feel like the name is something you need to both agree on. Anyways I still think since he chose last time is your time. He can choose a middle name but still you both meed to agree on. For me there’s no question: No one, not even my husband is naming my baby something I don’t like. You should both make a list of names and go from there. See which ones you both like and hopefully you can decide that way.

I wouldn’t have let my husband out right name any children. Having children is a joint decision. Naming them is important and should be something you both agree on. It’s weird that he won’t let go of this seemingly stupid promise? Is he neurodivergent and so is making up rules to help process things?

Personally I’d tell him how you really feel about the situation if you haven’t already. Especially since you both agreed on having only 2 instead of 4. My fiancé and i also agreed on 4 but he chose a boy name and i chose and girl and vice versa. So if we had a boy first we’d go with his pick, but we are having a girl so going with mine. We sat down together and both told each other our first picks. The boy we decided to name after his dad (cause everyone in his family starts with J and he wanted to keep that going) and he has a second name which is from my dad. since we had a mutual agreement it makes it fair you could say cause we both had a choice on each genders, so I’d definitely say to talk to him and yall sit down and choice a name together or you choose a name and ask him what he thinks about it

The fact that he hasn’t forgotten about that interaction is pretty concerning tbh. I definitely wouldn’t let that slide. Normally in these situations id recommend putting it as a middle name since he already had the first name for the first child but in this scenario, im absolutely not having my child named after some now random girl, not even as a middle name.

I would definitely not let him name either child. We have to agree and if anything I get the final say after literally growing this new person from scratch and pushing it out of my body. And him naming my daughter after the one who got away is a 1000% no

I would never let my child be named something I didn't love. You're the one growing that child. The choice isn't his to make. He is absolutely in the wrong here

@Steph Yes we're actually both autistic

@Mandolin I thought this was a possibility. This may be more of the issue that he doesn’t understand that the ‘promise’ isn’t expected to be held up and that it would be strange if he were to do so because no one would actually expect him to name a child as a result of a friction burn. Explain that the normal convention when naming children is that you both choose a name that you both equally love. You both get equal say in the name and no one else can dictate what you name your child.

Yep