How to make SAHM work?

Literally me and my partner earn well and we couldn’t do it on one wage so I really don’t know how you’d do it 🤣 could you go to part time? I think if your partner earned under a certain threshold in England you might be able to get help paying rent or universal credit but he’d have to be earning very little!

@Cass my job only offers full time as it’s really not a job you can do any less than 40. I have no idea how I would afford bills on one income 😭

Can you cut your budget/sacrifice expenses? Can you downsize? Lay out all of your income vs. expenses on a spreadsheet or paper. It helps to visually see where your money is going and can make cutting things out easier. If you absolutely can't make it work, can you have a hybrid/remote work schedule in your line of work? If your current employer doesn't allow it, can you find an employer that offers a remote position? Are you willing to change industries to find a remote position? Can you and your husband work at different times of the day? Do you have talents you can freelance or start a side hustle with? I have tried all types of momming (working mom/split shift parenting, work from home mom, stay at home mom), each with pros and cons, but my kids have never seen a daycare. This season requires A LOT of financial sacrifice. There are things we did on a dual income that we cannot do now. However, being present for my kids without worrying about keeping my job is worth the sacrifice.

@Fiona I second all of this! I wish we lived closer together, I checked out your profile and you sound so much like me!

We did a trial run before I official became a sahm. We put my paycheck in a separate untouched account, pretended it didn’t exist and only lived off my husbands check. It was a massive adjustment because I’m pretty sure I need to go to shoppers anonymous 🤣 but it helped us see what we needed to do to make staying home possible. We ended up taking all of my saved paychecks to payoff student loans which was a huge part of what worried us about going down to one income.

Tbh not one answer fits all. I’ve typed and deleted so many things. Figure out your why (and how) and run with it. Everything will be figured out. Despite what people said I felt unnatural leaving my children at daycare because it is unnatural. If it’s something you truly want sit down with your husband and do the math on where you can make cuts. There’s also flexible work like Amazon Flex, Walmart Spark etc. it may be uncomfortable at first but coming from someone who had the shiny corporate job that everyone was like “ooohh” when I said what I did for a living staying at home with my kids is so much more fulfilling.

I second that @Andrea ! Also be prepared for a major mental adjustment. While I do find staying home incredibly fulfilling, I also felt miserable the first couple of months. I went from teaching a classroom full of activity little people to staying home with essentially a potato 😅 the busy body in me had a hard time adjusting but now that it’s been 6 months, I can’t believe I missed working as much as I did.

I was basically forced to stay home as my job ended up not being as flexible as I thought and we couldn't afford childcare. So unfortunately we ended up having to decide what bills to pay different months and have debt to catch up on now that I have found a job that is flexible with my schedule. I just wish we had prepared ahead of time for in case something like that happened. And in the end I really didn't want to leave my baby to go to work. I still don't but I only have to go to the office for a a couple days a week and only a few hours at a time so I'm home majority of the time and he is with his dad when I am at work. All this to say, save what you can now so that it is a bit easier when you don't have that second income.

Every situation is different so I'll share whats been working for us. We only recently bought a house so we bought something small with a lower payment that we knew we could afford with my husband's paycheck. We dont pay for streaming services except spotify but we may even be canceling that. We dont have wifi. We have inexpensive phones and a plan through cricket thats only 100 a month for 2 lined with unlimited data. We dont eat out often. I shop primarily at aldi and make most things from scratch. I've always been pretty low maintenance when it comes to clothes and makeup so I dont spend money on new clothes often and havent bought any new make up since our wedding. If there is something we need we try to find it at thrift stores or secondhand somewhere. Being home can drive me crazy sometimes so We take advantage of free activities like the library storyhour, parks, and church events. Id look at what are non-negotiables in your budget/lifestyle and start by cutting all the things you dont use often.

The majority of sahm’s are in households making less than 50k a year. You just figure it out.

We live in an extremely high cost of living state right now (NJ). We're actually planning on relocating to WV as soon as my husband's company gives him the green light to transfer. The biggest thing that helps us is we bought a mobile home for 10k cash about 11 years ago. We have 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, about 980 sq ft, and a 10th of an acre yard (plus almost a .25 acre green space behind us). Our monthly lot rent is about $745 & covers lot rent, water, septic, taxes, trash, & recycling. I have a few friends who are renting locally to me in 3 bedroom houses/townhomes with about double our square footage & are currently paying $2500-3000+ a month. We do 90% of our home and vehicle maintenance and repairs. We cook & bake almost everything from scratch. Until recently, we both drove old cars (93 & 02), but my van got to the point that it wasn't worth continuing to fix, so we invested in a new to us SUV.

I’m a SAHM but I’m only able to do so because both my husband and I have made financial sacrifices. We plan our meals and snacks out to a T. All of my sons snacks are home made since it’s usually cheaper than store bought. We almost never go out to eat unless it’s a special occasion. We only pay the minimums on the debt we have. And anything that is left over at the ends of each month gets split evenly into 4 and put into a Christmas savings, individual retirement accounts for me and my husband, and a school fund for my son. You and your husband will have to sit down and create a budget to see if that would be doable with your income and expenses. If not, you could try looking for a work from home job or finding a part time job to supplement your income enough that you could stay home a majority of the time.

THANK YOU LADIES!!!

I think every situation is different. We are older, the house is small and paid off, low cost of living, we cook and sign up for farm csa, haven't traveled far since having kids. I freelance and in an ongoing mentorship program, some months that helps others it's just for mental health. Kids are in a low cost private school, one full time, one half time, this year had to sell stock to afford, lots of days off of course but otherwise it's a transitional period for me.

I'll share what works or my hubby and I. We lived in an RV we sold it and bought a mobile home in a different province for cheap with cheap pad rent. We started a seasonal business in the small town we moved to and I applied for government assistance. We live frugally right now but we're happy because I'm home with our 3 month old everyday and surviving on 1 income. Do what works for your family. Moving to a cheaper place to live is what did it for us.