Anxiety about my mother

Today is my baby shower and even though I've done nothing but prepare myself to be back around my mother again, I just have the worst anxiety. I was around her for 6 days and so incredibly uncomfortable and stressed the whole time. I have the worst anxiety knowing that I have to be around her again today and this time around other friends, family, and my church. It's hard because my friends and husband are the only ones who understand and the rest of the people who will be there don't. I don't want her there but she's only there to try and show she's a "good grandma and mother" even though I know she won't make much of an effort later on. She took 17 years to even be in her other grandchildren's lives and it was basically not her choice and forced. I won't force my kiddo to have a relationship with her. I'm just sick of her manipulation with everyone and her stepping over every single boundary that I have. I just want to keep my cool today but I just feel so on edge. 😭 This is my first child so it's just a LOT.