Partner wants to combi feed
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I do think it’s hard for the men and my husband has said he feels useless when it comes to feeding and that he’d like to be able to help out more and I can understand. We were combo feeding until 3 months as we had latching issues and since then he has been EBF so I do feel he misses out. We’re now switching to formula as he is 9 months and my husband is needing to look after him at times but now he won’t take from the bottle so we’re having a difficult time with that and feel that if we’d kept the odd bottle going every now and again it would have improved things now. Perhaps you can do a bottle very occasionally to keep your partner happy? But only if it’s something that you’d be happy with. Perhaps you could suggest he does bathtimes, nappy changes, burping etc.
@Harriet we do bottles here and there with EBM generally once a day or once every 2 days etc but only if we have plans where I can’t BF or if we have a hospital appointment. So he is perfectly fine going from boob to bottle. Thats not really my concern at all 😩
@Kavita he’s so sweet he wants to be able to take baby out so I can get a break (I don’t need one this is the best baby ever) 🤣 hence why he wants to be able to take formula with him. I do feel strongly about it. What if he doesn’t take the formula. What if he does and then rejects my breastmilk. What if it upsets his belly. What if it disrupts his current routine (his routine has been amazing and consistent for weeks) I just have so many questions and I’m not willing to risk fucking up a good thing just so he can take the baby out without me. I also like having my baby close at all times. I don’t need a break. He’s only 7 weeks old I have fought tooth and nail to have a successful breastfeeding experience. I’m not about to go f* that all up 🤣😭
I was thinking the exact same and I would definitely stand my ground. EBF is the best for your child of you want to do it, he have no say in this. You won't give up on bf just because he wants time out with the baby. He will have them with time...
It’s lovely he wants to be involved in this way, but in my opinion that is definitely not a good enough reason to introduce formula, especially at 7 weeks old. It won’t be long before your baby will go for longer stretches without feeding, so he will have more opportunities to take him out. I really don’t think you should introduce formula at this stage, not only because of the health benefits for you and baby, but because it sounds like you really don’t want to! 7 weeks is still so young and it can be so hard for the partner as babies are just fully dependent on mum when ebf. But this early period will pass quickly so stick to your guns! And congrats on such a positive breastfeeding journey.
@Sam I seriously don’t want too I love BF and didn’t get to with my first. Our son is above average in weight and height and I’m so proud of our BF journey. Just not sure how to navigate this besides pumping while he is feeding on opposite boob to ensure we have EBM 🤷🏻♀️ just an extra job for me ontop of every other job. Men don’t really understand the effort we put in.
It must be incredibly difficult for a father to get his head around the fact that he can’t spend hours alone with his baby until they’re mainly on solids. They must feel useless and sad. BUT I think there’s an argument that throwing in formula every now and then could bother baby’s stomach/digestion. I’d stick to your guns tbh!
(I know some babies can cope with the changing but since they’ve been EBF until now you don’t know how it’ll affect them)
A 7 week old baby shouldn’t be spending long periods away from their mother breastfed or not imo - they still don’t even realise they’re separate from you. He’ll have the rest of babies life to spend hours doing whatever they want to do together.. breastmilk really is what’s best for your little one at the minute so I personally would stick to my guns. There are tonnes of ways dad can bond that doesn’t involve feeding! I would explain the benefits of breastmilk and how damaging formula can be to the breastfeeding relationship/ success. It also makes a tonne more work for you because that early you’ll need to express when baby has formula to ensure your milk supply doesn’t tank. He probably doesn’t realise all of this so just explaining might help him see more your point of view 😊
I used to be a pump/breastfeed mom so my husband could feed the baby too but when he didn't really care to feed her anymore I just exclusively breastfeed now, no regrets and whenever he says something about switching back to bottles I just ask him if he's gonna help wash em, that usually ends the argument
Do not succumb to the pressure he’s putting on you, if you’re not comfortable formula feeding. I exclusively breastfeed (and my baby is over 9 months now), and the way I started a freezer stash was just by using a hakaa pump on the opposite breast every time I fed my LO. It’ll catch your “side milk” so you’ll be able to start having enough for those moments when your partner wants to take baby for a few hours. That’s how I was able to have my husband start giving baby a nightly bottle starting around 3 weeks. Good luck, mama!
I think if you feel strongly that formula milk isn’t what you want to feed your baby, then you need to explain the benefits of breast feeding to your partner. Explain that you recognise this is a piece of bonding that he doesn’t get to be part of, but there are other ways he can bond with baby I.e he could do baths times and read to baby at bed time etc.