Not sure if this is normal second time mum

2nd time mum, son is 2 1/2 ans we have been trying to potty train for 2 months now. I'm finding I'm dreading when he is home now. He is such a great kid, and I feel terrible for feeling like this. He is also acting out a bit more, when does this get better? I'm regretting having the 2nd child when we did, like there would have been a better age gap when it wasn't so stressful, but not sure if there is such a thing. 2nd baby is 4 weeks & she is pretty perfect and easy. Having same struggles with supply but that was to be expected. My parents just left us 2 weeks ago, and they live 10 hours by plane away. My husband's mum is all we have for help and she isn't the best, she is limited in what she can do due to recent surgeries, so never want to put too much on her. She also sees her way of help as holding the baby, which isn't what we need. So does it get easier? I think I fell for the IG posts that said pregnant and toddler was hard, newborn & toddler is easier, which I'm not finding at all. Any reassurance greatly appreciated

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mine has what we thought were tantrums & he is 2 & will be 3 in april. turns out , they were meltdowns and he is on the spectrum. 😊 have you thought about getting him tested if he’s showing any signs? it is more than just looking at a child and saying “ oh they don’t have autism” . they do things that toddlers without autism would do on a. regular basis but it’s certain things that they do that make it autism. i thought it was terrible 2’s! . but no , we got answers. does he talk ? . ( just curious ) . mine has also entered the potty training stage sorta kind of ! . we also have a baby girl who is almost 3 months old. maybe look into getting some assistance to see why he is acting out ! could be deeper than just “ terrible 2’s” i hope this helps and i hope it gets better ❤️

@Sabrina thanks. My husband is a SPED teacher and MIL a behaviorist. So we are pretty sure he is not on the spectrum. He is verbal, but shy. How are you finding having 2?

It’s all hard, no matter what the age gap. My oldest and middle are almost 8yrs apart and it was hard at first but got easier as time went on. My middle and youngest are just about 2.5yrs apart and it was pretty rough to begin with but has gotten easier….although there are still some hard days due to fighting over toys or one being extra cranky but overall it’s not too bad. My younger ones often love being together…and my oldest adores both of them although she gets easily annoyed by her sister (my middle child). He likely is acting out because of the new baby esp if you aren’t spending as much time with him or letting him help much. Also, you could wait to potty train….esp if he doesn’t seem very interested in it yet.

@Erin thanks for the reassurance. And that it gets easier, was it when you found a routine or a certain age just it got easier? He is getting the pee bit of potty training but poop not at all. So we don't want to lose that progress by delaying. But just trying to figure out how to keep going forward. He loves being a big brother and we are asking him to help with certain things. Also we are still trying to spend time with him one on one.

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