Is this weird?

I would just be like what were you doing ?😂 like that was weird

@Heidi, I would have, but he gets a bit defensive if I ask what he is doing or why he's done something. Like once, he was in the shower at his Dad's, and he heard me and our son near the door (study is right next door) and locked the bathroom door. I asked about it, and he said it was so his Dad didn't open the door. He flat out lied to my face because it absolutely wasn't for that reason. His Dad has never opened a closed door if there is a possibility someone is in there, and he doesn't interrupt at all if he knows someone is, unless it's an urgent question or an emergency. It was to keep me and our son out, but I have never done that either unless invited. The whole thing was weird, and after talking to him, I was left feeling crazy. He's done the undies thing once before. I got up and went into the study, he was already in the shower, and he had undies on the arm of the couch. Anyway, I just sometimes feel like I'm going crazy 🤪

His dad could have definitely opened the door on him before. Especially if that is his childhood home. Locking a door while showering isn't weird. Even if he wanted to keep you out, that also isn't weird. Some people need privacy and alone time. As for the undies, you seem to be reaching. Why don't you just ask him what you are assuming. Even if he is "doing that" it's also not weird.

@Shanee, in his childhood, maybe, but not in his adulthood and not in the 5+ years we have been together. Trust me, his issue wasn't that his Dad might come in. He has left the door unlocked plenty of times. Our door at home can't be locked, and he has never expressed an issue with that and, in fact, showers with it wide open. Except in the morning as he is up so early. This one time, he heard me and our son and locked it. Again, we NEVER open a shut door unless invited, and I wasn't invited that morning, so I wouldn't have opened it. I may have knocked and spoken to him through the door, but I didn't even want to do that once he locked it. I can't ask because he gets defensive and won't tell me anyway. He knows it makes me uncomfortable and is currently a boundary for me.

Got it! It's NOT weird! You have your mind made up. Completely ignoring that there could be a simple answer. Sorry, this is such an issue for you. Nothing about his behavior seems weird.

@Shanee, what are you talking about? Mind made up about what? What simple answer?

Maybe he was jerking off in the shower and knew you coming in with his son would have threw his mood off 🤷🏻‍♀️ or maybe he literally just wanted privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to be on top of each other. Being in a relationship you need to give your partner alone time too / just time for themselves and vice versa. Girl stop bothering that poor man lol

@Gina, I'm not bothering him. What makes you think I am?. I was very clear that I do NOT open a closed door unless invited, and I wasn't invited. Also, again, he knew I was uncomfortable with that, and he had made the decision to promise me he'd stop. I assumed that was what he was doing because I cannot think of another reason he would have locked the door.

I'm talking about how you will only accept that his behavior is weird. You are being extremely defensive in trying to prove what you want to hear. Your mind is made up as you think the reason is something that upsets you. Which again isn't weird. The simple answer is that a grown man wants a few moments of privacy without you checking on him because of your insecurities. I agree leave that man alone. If you left him alone and always knocked, then he wouldn't need to lock the door. He would just expect your knock, but nope, he made sure the door was locked. You don't give him privacy all the time, so he locked the door. Not weird. Sorry your post isn't giving what you wanted it to.

I know you didn’t open the door but even knocking / speaking to him through the door or constantly walking by with your son might have made him annoyed, especially if it’s his private alone time. He probably wants to clean his ass in peace lol You could most definitely be bothering him by asking a grown man why he’s locking the bathroom door. If it’s not a habit then it shouldn’t be a problem or even a question to be brought up to him. The fact it bothered you enough to ask him is probably annoying too tho. He knew you were uncomfortable with what? Jerking off? He’s a man and we all have desires. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either 🤷🏻‍♀️ Atleast he’s getting it out and not lusting anywhere else. The locked door issue on the other hand is not a big deal at all. You have to get out of your head because little shit like that, you’re making yourself crazy for noooooo reason at all.

@Shanee, I'm getting defensive because people refuse to read and are making assumptions. So I'll spell this out; I NEVER open a closed door. I RARELY knock on a closed door. Instead, I leave it. Except the study at his parents house. I alternate between knocking and just walking in. If he is up late and i get up to pee and the door is closed, I leave him be. We spend most of our time at his parents, in his study, and the bathroom is between the bedroom and the study. I never said we keep walking past, but yes, our son will as the house isn't big, and he is a toddler. I, however, do not. My point is that he knows all of this. If it's not weird, it's not weird. I was never arguing that it was. I was refuting your statement that his Dad could have opened the door on him. I know my partner and his family, you don't. I was also trying to explain how I knew he lied to my face. How do I not give him privacy all the time? If I left him alone and always knocked? What? You have done nothing but assume.

@Gina, I didn't knock. I RARELY knock and will wait for him to come out. I knock on the study door and occasionally just come in because we use it as a living room while we are at his Dad's. By my partners choice. I had no choice but to walk past the bathroom, as it is between the bedroom and the rest of the house. We spend most of the time we are at his parents in his study, which is right next door to the bathroom. We walked past ONCE, and he heard our son talk and immediately locked the door. He gets a lot of private alone time. On weekends, for example, he gets anywhere from 1 to 3 hours of alone time both mornings. It was a question because he had never done that before. I'd argue that if it's a habit, it wouldn't be a question. Yes, I've been uncomfortable since our son was born and am working on it, but he promised he would stop as he didn't want to make me uncomfortable. I never asked him to and even told him he shouldn't do that. He insisted.