☁️Advice needed ☁️

For those of you that have had ‘the first grandchild’ anyone got any tips for dealing with smothering parents (the grandparents) who are meeting your baby for the first time? My mother is rather opinionated and shes ‘always right’, my dad is a constant worrier who in turn rings me 3-4 times a day, regardless if i answer him. Any tips for keeping calm as when I’ve tried to have my say and put my foot down about behaviours and boundaries they say im ‘rejecting help’ or ‘im ungrateful and i need to listen to someone whos done it before’.

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I always go with "the advice nowadays is...." I know, it keeps changing so much.... all these new advice.... Otherwise my mum takes it a bit personal and thinks you're calling her a bad mum or something. It seems to work.

I tried😂 we were discussing sleep bags and she told me she straight up didnt like them, i never had one so why would i use one on my baby… when i tried the ‘tried and tested and theyre popular and experts recommend’ i got a shut up and listen to someone whos done it. Word for word…

My mum is exactly the same she thinks she is always right🤦🏻‍♀️ I just remind her that she gave birth 30 years ago and a lot has now changed! And it actually worked! Which I was really surprised 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

Could you try something like "we can only do the best with what we know at the time with all the current information and research. I'm sure in 30 years time there'll be loads of things I'm doing now that will be completely outdated, in the same way that I'm sure you did things differently to your parents." It maybe helps make it clearer that you don't think that you're right and she's wrong, rather that times changes and we do what's best for the time we are in. I'm sure there's loads of stuff our kids in the future will be like "mum I can't believe you did that!!!". In the same way that your mum won't have done exactly the same things as her parents. It's putting yourself hypothetically in her shoes in the future, and showing that you will be open to be corrected by your own children when you are maybe a grandparent one day?

Mum and I actually had a good laugh the other day at a photo of the car seat she brought me home in, which was basically a piece of plastic I was slumped in. Not even close to the safety standards of todays seats. But then we laughed about how her parents used to just lie her on the back seat of the car, so that 90s plastic seat was an improvement on that! Just goes to show the change in generations and how we adjust to the best practices for the time.

I would go with ‘thank you so much for your advice - I really appreciate all of your help. I will definitely see how it goes and change if needed’

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