My Toddler boy is same way. He is 3 year and 3 months. Whining sessions are worse than tantrums. But they are getting better now since he is getting better in communications. I also pay more attention to what causes meltdowns. I am finding top 3 reasons he loses control are 1) hidden hunger 2) tired and sleepy but fights sleep. 3) constipated all day. His diet is super bad. He is picky eater so it does not help. But each week gets better cause he is getting better with words and communications
My daughter is very similar. I just keep telling myself they are testing boundaries and figuring out a lot, which means big emotions! I hope it gets easier soon 🥲
No advice as I’m currently dealing with challenging behaviour but sending love. You’re doing a great job