Please tell me if I’m wrong

White people can’t be trusted but her partner is white? Make that make sense. I have biracial kids and this has never been a thought in my mind. I know what conversations I need to have with my boys because they are black and that is just society but to worry about how your kids present is insane, they are who they are. that’s the fastest way to give your kid a complex

I didn’t think I was wrong but every comment was from other moms of biracial kids so I was the enemy 🥴

@Daija I see both sides, she wants her kids proud to be black which of course I want that to but I don’t see why you need to make your children choose white or black when they are both

@Jay that’s why I commented what I did. You can acknowledge both sides of their identity while also acknowledging how they will be seen by society. I don’t have biracial kids so I wasn’t sure if I was missing something. She just started to say that it’s cause Black people are divisive so we don’t want to accept her kids

As a white person I obviously don't have much input on it, but it sounds like it was one of the posts looking to validate her own opinion and wouldn't want to take anyone else's advice. I kind of feel like it's a bit weird to say "my kids are black and will be treated as such". It just gives off weird vibes to me. I also don't know why she'd teach her kids that white people can't be trusted when I assume half of their family are white....

Phenotype can determine how they are treated by society. For example, Derek Jeter & Dwayne Johnson (the rock) vs Lenny Kravitz and Boris Kodjoe. All of these men are mixed.

@Kylie totally agree with this. Plus she can't control how society is going to treat her kidsx none of can.

I mean my mom would say the same thing about me lmao 😂 Except she didn't have to tell us to be suspicious of white people, we learned that from society. Seeing first hand how me, my brother and sister all got treated differently despite having the same mother taught us all a lot about how prevalent white supremacy still is. Even though they're white presenting for the moment, that may change. Racial discourse is also changing. We're moving away from the "one drop rule" to a more looks based system, for better or worse. It's also worth mentioning that the definition of who counts as white has changed overtime too. I don't think anyone is right or wrong in this situation, especially with how the landscape around this is changing

My baby is 50% Indian, 12% Italian, Irish, Swedish etc, everyone says she looks just like me, but that could totally change over time, the world is changing but we have no control over the way the world treats our kids.

Yes they may be black but if they don't look black then they will be treated like so. My mixed brother and I are treated differently because he's lighter then me. Im proud to be mixed, she shouldn't try to make them proud of only one side. In the future ppl might be able to tell their mixed, she needs to be ready. Being mixed is different, sometimes you get racism from both sides.

@Melissa I used the example of Halsey and Logic. Two white presenting mixed people. Logic is from my area and everyone talks about his identity crisis because he can’t understand why people don’t see him like any other black man

@Raqi I get that. I just found it odd that she was so upset that people make the same jokes she said she was making when she assumed her kids would “look Black” It’s also odd to tell them to distrust half of themselves

@Amaura that’s was more so my point. To be open and aware of both sides. I see white women be dragged all the time for not acknowledging their black kids realities in society but it felt like she was getting a pass because her kids look white

I’m white so I don’t have any personal experience in this matter. However I had a friend who half black and so is her brother. She looked more white and generally felt that she was regarded as white, whereas her brother was always regarded as black.

@Daija exactly, her poor kids are going to be in so many different situations and it seems like she is going to refuse to guide them through those situations. Being mixed is so different then one race. As a kid I didn't understand why white kids was weird about my hair and felt like I was doing too much, when I went to black kids they felt like I wasn't doing enough with my hair. She may accidentally make them resent themselves. She may be mad at you but at least someone was being honest with her.

@Courtney I’ve seen the same it can cause some real negative feelings overtime

Not wrong IMO. Even if they “looked mixed”, they still wouldn’t be treated the same as someone who’s fully black.

I will say both my kids were very white when born. Now at 5 and 3 they are both darker than me. I want my kids to be proud Latino/black men and will be taught to love themselves and just be good people 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Jay I think the acknowledgement is so important.

@Daija let me tell you finding out Halsey is black even partially was not on my 2024 bingo card

@Khyia so many people say this lol I first found out when the controversy around her wearing a fro started some years ago 🤣

@Daija why does she think “white people aren’t to be trusted” and why would she teach her kids this if their father is white? does she have a particular reason to feel this way?

I’m black/Japanese/Irish, but the only giveaway is my eyes. My dad is mixed, my mom is black - Ghanaian. I grew up speaking English, Japanese and Twi. That said, I present black so I live daily as black but I don’t deny my heritage. Funny enough, my son was born looking Irish AF! He was white, piercing blue eyes, sandy red hair. His dad is black so it was a big shock to everyone on his side, not me. As he’s aged his hair is sandy blonde, he’s still very fair but more tan, hair more course now and his eyes are green so he looks “mixed”. My second son looks completely black. I just taught them their ethnic heritage period. How they choose to identify is their choice. Adding all the racial bigotry just makes them more confused IMO. And as others said, their appearance may change.

I think you gave her some good advice. She just wasn't receptive.

both wrong, she's hating on her own kids for being part white. why have sex with a white guy if you wanted black kids. 🤦🏻‍♀️ what you said was just kinda inappropriate more than anything. it does come off (at least to me) that you were saying "you're kids are black, they aren't going to be accepted into society". it was a bit insensitive to say.

As a mother with biracial twins. And my girl is FAIRED skin (light ) blue eyes, light hair. Society especially older white women think she Is white and stare at me with disgust. There have been many many times, a white women will see like standing maybe a few steps from me and will talk to her and ask where her mother is and she will point to me and they will look and say “are you sure?” One of the times hurt me ; my twins were maybe 4 and we were at a VBS and a teacher would not release her to me because she said I don’t look like her mother. I had to stay calm and find a white woman who knew me to confirm I was her mom. When they were kids and myself and my beautiful black family members would go out, people would stare and stare.

So she is going have to get over that. Because the world is going to see them on the fence. White people are going to think they are white and interact without caution, but when they noticed mom. It’s going to be “what? Oh wow.” She can’t be ashamed or upset about them being lighter skin. She needs to embrace it. She should have known that it was a slim chance babies were coming out with some milk chocolate skin.

Couldn't get past her teaching her kids white people can't be trusted! Wth, so they shouldn't trust their own dad and half their family 😩 I am just wondering why she had kids with a white man when she feels that way.

Mmm well I have a few opinions. 1. I don’t believe that certain features mean white. I think sometimes we as black people limit the diversity of black features, and skin tones. There’s many black people born with colored eyes and colored hair who are not mixed at all. There’s not a certain way to look black or present as black either. There’s many mixed people who solely look one race and there’s many black people who look “mixed” but aren’t. 2. It shouldn’t matter how they’re presented their children. They’re little humans and with the mindset she carries they’ll grow up with many identity issues, self hate and self esteem issues. If she’s married to a white man then yes her children are both white and black. She should acknowledge both equally as that’s what makes those children who they are. 3. I think it’s strange to say that white people can’t be trusted. Now they’re going to grow up not trusting their dad 😂… but no because if a white mom with bi racial kids said that about

Black people. The kids would be confused about their father, father’s side of the family, black people in general, half themselves lol. Doesn’t make sense

But she should acknowledge while it is true I can say some black people have a harder time accepting/acknowledging someone who looks fully white as one of their own. But in a sense I feel like that may apply as well if a mother was white with black looking kids I feel like it would be hard for other white people to see themselves in the child(ren). I feel like no matter how “white” a child may look there’s always a feature that usually aligns typically in black features ( diverse and all) that tells me. For example Cameron Boyce. There’s features I can tell but maybe someone who is white would naturally see him as their own due to his overall appearance? If that makes sense.

I get what you’re saying but I think it’s a hard pill to swallow. As a parent you want your kids to be treated the same, have the same opportunities etc. it’s probably hard to get your head around the fact that they will be treated differently when in theory they’re the same. How anyone presents shouldn’t really matter but we know that it does. The trust thing is off base and she needs to rethink this. It’s one thing to share experiences but this just seems like projection. Our kids aren’t just an extension of ourselves and we need to parent the kid/s we have not the ones we imagine. Also I know lots of people don’t see past it but you can look like someone without having the same skin tone!

Teaching them white people cant be trusted? Excuse me?

but her husbands white no?

@honey yeah literally like 😭

I agree with some of the others, there's not one size fits all for black or white. I'm full black, people have assumed that my dad is white, he's not, he's black. My daughter is half black and half white, and has white skin- however no one has questioned that I'm not her mother. Even my daughter thinks she looks like me despite the different skin tone. Everyone can be trusted on their own merit.

I can't speak for right and wrongs but as a white mum, of mixed kids who are all white presenting I plan on teaching them a lot about both of their heritages and ethnicities while also teaching them about general societal behaviour and how it may impact them. But ultimately they'll decide how they best identify themselves. There are also other factors I'd consider if I was that mum, like for example my girls are white passing but their names and surnames are not, they need to know it's not always just skintone/colour that cause society to treat you a certain way.

I find it very sad that she is judging her own children because of their appearance instead of just embracing fully who they are and it's a depressing way to live to put All white people into a group and view us so negatively as its an incorrect judgement, no race is fully one negative thing, shes just going to teach her children hatred, it's a shame, parents keep teaching racism to the next generation, so wrong

So white people aren’t to be trusted but she’s laid down and made babies with a white man. She sounds like a buffoon. But regardless of how the children present to others they are half black and she is normal to want to raise them to know and be proud of that part of themselves.

White people can’t be trusted but dad’s white??? 🥲🥲

White people aren’t to be trusted…. Yo that’s the fast track to messing up your kids identity forever. If she felt that way she shouldn’t have created kids with a white person 🥴 my dumbass aunt did this to her half Arab kids and they now hate being Arab, talk all sorts of shit about Arabs, and refuse every single piece of the Arab culture. These kids are running around visually Arab but identifying as white because being Arab in their mind is one of the worse things. Well, this mom is doing the same shit to her twins. You were not wrong, she is.

@Carly from her comment she said when they find out they have a white parent they will treat them like black kids

@Riley I wasn’t saying her Black presenting child wouldn’t be accepted by society but we live in America her kids who she deemed as “looking white” and her child that “looks black” won’t be regarded the same way. I was more so saying her harboring on feature disappointment is not going to benefit anyone

@Brittany I was just thinking it could be so dangerous to have white presenting people not understanding the cultural differences. And teaching them to hate half of themselves is wild. My nieces mom used to tell her black people are criminals and I’m like she’s half black 😐

@Rebecca I agree but she said she is raising them to identify as just Black.

@abbie I was so confused. She was raving about how great her partner is and how he’s accepting of her previous child. She’s literally upset that their features are “white” but said they need to know once people learn their mom is Black they’ll treat them like black people so they need to identify as Black and learn not to trust white people

@Daija omg no!!! That's terrible 🙁

This is touchy. My kids are white passing. However, i am black and going to raise them how I was raised without the child abuse. Haha, i think not trusting white people comment is really weird. That tells me she isn't all the way there. It's good to teach about colorism and have them around black people so they know a part of their culture. Since they come from a black woman, they are black. That's the concept most races use.

@Victoria I can understand them identifying as black ethnically and culturally but their race would be white. At least by the u.s. official standards it’s all based on phenotype. Also with their dad being present it is off to try to erase that side of them

“White ppl can’t be trusted” but her bd is white 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️