Can anyone make sense of my own head for me

I love my partner I do I do find him good looking and kind and he helps around the house. But recently I've been wanting a bit more effort on our time together. He will come home from work sometimes and sit on his game like a teenager. Then when we go to bed he's expecting to get lucky. When I've explained I'd like more intimacy and kind of an exchange of doing little nice things for each other or spending quality time together to encourage feeling good, he's asked me to specify what he can do. I'm completely stumped. I know I want little and nice things together. I've explained he could pick me a flower off the street and it would count but I've never had a good past with relationships and it being a equal share. Intimacy has always translated to so many as just sex. I want us to be more than that but even Google can't suggest things for me 🤣. Does this make sense to anyone? I'd there a light at the end of the tunnel.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

What I'm struggling with majorly is grasping that for some people just the sheer looks of somebody is enough tovbe turned on. I've never experienced thst it's always been sort of an exchange of actions that lead up to it

Hey! Can't speak to your relationship but I know there is definitely a lot to do with love languages when it comes to feeling valued/intimacy/attraction. I.e; words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, etc. If you go onto amazon even there are couples activities there - Clay making kits, miniature builds, "answer this" is a couples questions game. Talking point - that really gets into the interesting questions with eachother too! One of our favourites is murder mysterys/crime solving! It's about spending any time together in a way that you both find valuable. For example: for him, he may like it if yoy an interest in his games. You might like it if he takes an interest in a show youre watching/music you like etc! If he whinges about it, tell him to grow up because before he knows it you'll have lost interest completely 🤷‍♀️😂

OMG I couldn't cope with gaming. You're definitely not asking too much for some effort. Feeling appreciated is a big thing for me and being looked after and him working for a better future for us all contribute to my intimate feelings towards him. In terms of things he could do maybe making time for you and suggesting things to do, doesn't have to cost money, going to a certain place for a walk that he's suggested/organised, getting you a bar of chocolate on his way home .... I know that's money but not much! Good luck anyway x

What you want is romance and to feel special, if thats what you need thats what you need! There are lots of examples of things he can do for you, but they need to come from him. If you went out in the evening instead of him gaming, it would be a gd start

Read more on Peanut