Inlaws keep saying daughters name wrong! Four years on!!
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@Gina oh believe me I have tried! I pronounced kids names wrong on purposr because I wanted to be petty, but the reaction was crazy! It was quite condecending - which left me thinking and thinking! My husband unfortunetly dances to the tune they play, his sisters play victim if I dare say anything or have a thought of my own. My daughter I try to tell her to correct people but at four she is too young she is more interested in playing and having others just talk to her, kids get confused.
What is her name?
@Amira that's not something I want posted on here hence the anon post!
At this point I would be refusing to go see them and throw their cards away! Until they can respect you and your daughter I wouldn’t let her deal with that, it’s ok once or twice but 4 years is crazy. I’ve had children in my class and you make an effort to pronounce it correctly. Once took a mum 4 months to tell me I had been pronouncing her sons name wrong and he was crying at home that no one knew his name and I was mortified and so confuse why it took so long for her to tell me! He was 4 years old so its about time she will start to notice it too x
I wouldn’t be annoyed at all I assume this is just a complicated name and if it’s annoying u soo much u need to fully express the extent of this to them, people get my name wrong all the time and it’s not complicated to say but can be those who aren’t familiar even if corrected
@Amira I appreciate maybe people of different cultures and backgrounds not pronouncing your name correctly as I too am Asian so how you say it with the accent makes that difference. But with my daughter her name is simple, white english teachers at her school say it perfectly, if not too perfect, which I love them for but with the inlaws they are the same as me, asian, so pronouciation shouldnt be an issue and if anything her name is pronounced by most as more of a simple westernised name, its literally so simple.
@Hayley oh you remind me so much of my daughters teachers, they asked from day one how do we say her name...they do that with all children. I agree once or twice I have let it pass but its constant. Makes me feel so sad for the little boy, its the confusion I guess which is what I dont want my daughter feeling. Its lovely to hear though how supportive you were with mum and her little boy xx
If your husband isn't standing up for his daughter he is part of the problem & I would be spelling that out to him. I would just refuse to see them, let hubby deal with it. Refuse to engage if they start moaning. Respect works both ways. Whilst people can say my name it drives me nuts when it's misspelled. As a kid, with a name on my peg & drawer at school & id get Jeana, Geena! Urgh. That shit sticks. Your daughter will reach an age where she will ask you WHY her own family don't care enough to use her name properly. I don't care if it's easy or hard to say, you learn it cos it's respectful & in this case cos it's family & you love them!!!
I would refuse to be around them if they couldn’t respect me and my child enough to pronounce their name correctly. I would also be petty af and repeatedly and obviously pronounce every single one of their names incorrectly and write them incorrectly on cards too. I would do it to everyone who continues to pronounce my child’s name wrong and I would continue doing it until they started pronouncing the name right. I would also let them know that’s exactly what I’ll be doing and if they have a problem with it they know how to fix it. They could kick off all they want I would just ignore it, I legit would not care at all about their feelings if they don’t care about ours. I would also lay down the law to my partner and let them know they either start backing me up or I’ll start to consider my options cuz at the end of the day its disrespectful and if they can be that disrespectful over a name then it will only escalate and I would not be putting up with it.
I've been with my husband for 24 years now and his whole family STILL mispronounces and writes my name wrong! I've told them, rewritten it, it's on my Facebook etc but they still do it wrong. I realise his parents got it wrong from day one and whenever they talk about me/us, they use the wrong pronunciation and through the years that's the name that got stuck with everyone. I've accepted it now. Ñ point in trying to fight against it anymore. It only makes me upset they don't even know. It's like holding a burning coal in your hand to throw at someone. Plus, if they are doing it on purpose, the more reaction they get, the more they'll. Continue doing it because they can see how it affects you. O you, and posiibky your daughter, are the only one suffering. The rest is duck on a waters back. You decide. Your choice. Do you keep holding the coal? Do you brun them? Or just let it be? My choice was just to let it go. Luckily I don't see my in-laws often.
@Ghitta I’m curious how do u say ur name and what is the origin?
@Amira my name is pronounced almost like you'll say Guitar. But without the R at the end. It's German and it means 'gift from God'. My in-laws call me Gitte and write is that way too. It's a small change but super annoying. I've learned to live with it now. Haha.
@Ghitta oh that’s lovely mashallah
Your husband needs to step in & lay down the law with them. His family, his problem! I'd be furious too. Just constantly call them by the wrong name. I'd be petty & would write cards out wrong, get daughter to call them wrong name....but that would just cause more issues....