I feel like a shit mum

I used a dummy with my first. I use a dummy with my second. It's a parent's choice to use them or not and anyone that judges can go suck eggs quite frankly. Do what works for you and your baby if that means having a dummy theb let him have a dummy x

I'm sure she would feel completely different if it settled her child, don't feel bad at all. I didn't want to use a dummy but sometimes needs are a must. Every child is different don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for how you parent your child, I would ask her what is her reasoning why she doesn't think you should use a dummy? Because I'm sure she wouldn't be able to come up with a good enough reason. Mamas should be supporting other mothers out there not questioning their parenting skills. X

I feel like about 80% of us use them? Really weird thing to shame someone for. Neither of my babies have taken one but if they did I would for sure use it, and there’s newer research showing they can decrease the risk of SIDS. You shouldn’t feel bad

You're doing nothing wrong! Babies can't self sooth and not every baby is easy to calm. If they like dummy there is nothing to feel bad about and no one else should ever shame you for anything! Our little one does not settle without one and I regret nothing about giving it to her

My girl doesnt take a dummy but i wish she would Dummies REDUCE THE RISK OF SIDS Theyre extremely good for small babies! Do not feel guilty xx

Some people are just like that. Ignore her or anyone who tries to mum shame you, it’s called a soother for a reason if it helps to soothe xx

I also would like my baby to take a dummy, but she won’t. The GP also suggested it as she has reflux and a dummy is really good. It provides pain relief from the sucking and helps keep the acid and milk down. They are good for babies. They give all the babies dummies in the NICU unless the parents say no.

Every parent method is different and you have to do what works for you and your baby. DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR DOING WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. My son isn’t taking the dummy because he rather suck his two fingers 😭😭. Also when you go back to the baby group don’t feel like you have to explain yourself and just ignore her. Your doing great and you got this x

Please do not feel bad! Nor should you be made to feel bad! We use a dummy and formula feed. I choose not to breastfeed and went straight for formula and we have used a dummy since she was 4weeks old and was the best decision we made as helps her sleep and settle. Every baby is different and there’s many things in a toolbox and you have free will to choose what you want and works for you, you’re doing amazing mumma!! Don’t let anyone tell you yoh otherwise!

I use a dummy and I only breastfed/pumped for 6 weeks and if someone tried to shame me good luck to them! 😂 These people need to get a life seriously

Thank you all! Honestly I'm a first time mum and everything is new to me I'm doing my absolute best but she honestly makes me not want to go to group anymore but I really wanna go because I enjoy the social side of things my partner just says she's a Karen and I should tell her to get fucked but I'm to shy to say anything! You've all helped put my mind at ease! Thank yiu again!xx

Your partner is right, if I lived close to you I'd come and tell her myself 😂

Dummies can reduce the risk of SIDS, are great for soothing and most importantly your choice. I used one with my LO from 2 weeks but he suddenly started refusing it at 8 weeks, so havnt used since. I go to 4 different baby groups a week and I'd say it's roughly 50/50 for dummies and breastfeeding/formula. At 2 of the groups we opening talk about preferences and reasons, and importantly ask for tips and help. We most certainly don't shame anyone so that's awful for you. I only do free groups at present and have done since he was 2 weeks old (15 weeks now)

I never used one with my first. This time round we do. It also depends on your baby and their temperament. Just try and limit it to sleep times and comfort if nothing else works because as they grow up it can affect their teeth and their S&L. Basically for them to not have it in their mouth 24/7 x

I tried breastfeeding my baby it didn’t work don’t feel bad about that, on the dummy side, I get shamed everyday off my MIL for using a dummy and you know what, it doesn’t matter. It’s YOUR child and the only person who can make any decisions on how you want to raise your child, feeding your child or even if you want to use a dummy is you. Don’t feel like a shit mum for any of these things beautiful. All that matters is your little boy being happy and healthy that is it. Your smashing it momma 🩵

Mum shaming is the worst! A dummy is there as a placebo for a nipple. Maybe she just puts a nipple in his face every time he cries and therefore has the same outcome as if using a dummy?! My first was EBF and would use the nipple as a soother to comfort him, which is natural, and I was fine with. My second is expressed milk into a bottle and won't even consider a nipple or a dummy. But I have tried offering a dummy because I know how soothing it is FOR THEM. In different cultures, people put their fingers in babies' mouths to soothe them as it offers an oral comfort, which is comforting at their age. Personally, I'd say how lucky she is to have a natural form of a dummy to do the job, but where needs must, you're only giving what a breastfed baby might get naturally. Maybe also drop in that it's nice to encourage all kinds of soothing for the baby, and a happy baby is all anyone could ask for x

I had no intention of using a dummy with my son but it was my mum who suggested it. Yes, he used it a lot but we were easily able to cur it down at 1, just for sleeping, and then completely gone around 2yrs3months. He was bottle fed We've given our daughter one, she's ebf but my nipples need a break sometimes, although she doesn't like it as much. Don't let anyone judge you, we all make the right decisions for us. Maybe her baby won't accept one and she's jealous

We didn't plan on using a dummy but our little girl just would not sleep in her cot only on our chests. As soon as we started using the dummy she slept so much better and in her cot. The dummy for us then took out a much bigger risk in unsafe sleeping. I definitely feel judgemental looks sometimes but I know it's best for my baby. My parents avoided a dummy for me when i was a baby, so I sucked my finger. That was a bigger nightmare for them as you couldn't take it away and it did affect teeth and my finger!

I bottle feed and offer a dummy when little man is overtired to help soothe and settle. He is 15 weeks and no one has been judgmental at all.