Should we have more accommodations for people on the spectrum?

I mean, I don’t think the ADA should mandate any kind of compliance regarding those types of accommodations at private establishments- restaurants or pools or bookstores or whatever. That’s really up to the owners! I suspect most don’t because there is very little profit in serving that niche population at the expense of…not diverting resources there I guess? I think most people just don’t take kids who can’t handle/ won’t enjoy restaurants. Even neurotypical kids! Some are little tornados. I’m sure it would be nice to have like a “kid cafe” geared toward special needs kids but the thing about special needs is they are SO diverse. One kid needs more sensory input, one needs less, one needs swinging, one hates lights- it would be very very hard to effectively cater to while still feeling like an actual restaurant experience for the adults

I don’t think separate areas would work practically as most restaurants want the space to accommodate as many diners as possible. I think education is probably the way to go but appreciate that won’t happen overnight 🫤 maybe a child friendly scheme restaurants could sign up to/ display a badge if they were committed to it and really welcoming everyone? Then the judgy people could also avoid. I can’t speak personally about having a neurodiverse child but I do think some people act as if kids generally aren’t allowed to be kids in public. I think meltdowns, tantrums etc. happen and people need to just be more understanding. It’s easier to be someone listening to it than the parent actually dealing with it. A little compassion goes a long way.

I think it would be cool for there to be a specific restaurant that caters specifically towards sensory issues. Walmart already has sensory hours in the morning where it’s generally quieter in the building and they turn off the overhead radio. However I can also see it could be a problem if every restaurant did that. If they accommodate one they have to accommodate all. If they had an extra room that adds to their utilities and possibly more in rent as well and extra training will cost more too. A lot of sit down places do provide coloring stuff and if people need to bring something else for their child then they do. Headphones to drown out noise, an iPad/tablet, sensory toys of their own, etc… I think *almost* all moms fear being judged and having meltdowns in public so that isn’t a ND specific problem. I am terrified of my son having a meltdown in public and if he starts up we just get up and leave (and pay if we’ve already gotten our food or have ordered already).

I don't think it's a matter of more accommodations but a matter of changing our culture and how we react to people with disabilities.

@Sorrel honestly yea you’re right we need more education because we have so many judgemental ppl who think kids should sit still and be quiet no matter what the kid is going through. It would be nice to have establishments who do show they are kid friendly in that way too. I seen a tik tok of a mom who got kicked out of an establishment because her child was autistic and being loud. At least that’s what I gathered from the tik tok. So sad :/

@Lauren sensory hours is neat I never knew Walmart did that! But yea I could see what you mean by the restaurant thing!

@Violeta💕 True maybe we need more education towards it in school so ppl can be more understanding. In reality I don’t think you fully understand till you have a child or are a child going through it but we do need more sympathy.

@Patience for sure.

We absolutely should, and I'm ngl I'm side-eyeing the people who voted no a bit. Should it be mandatory for every single place to have accommodations? No, that's not very realistic, but should there be more accommodations and accessibility in this world? Absolutely! If just a few more places offered quiet hours or quiet rooms/soft lighting it would be extremely helpful to many, even some who aren't on the spectrum.

@FairyMother I like that Walmart does the sensory hours that Lauren mentioned I do think more places should do that! Now I wanna open my own restaurant just for this! 😭 When I get to own my own bakery I will be making sure I have sensory hours ♥️

That would be nice, but it’s just fantasy. Unfortunately it’s already difficult to find any good staff, you won’t find someone who is also educated in that area, and you can’t learn from a training of 3 days. Most restaurants they don’t have the facilities/ space to separate room and/or build a play area and even if they did they will probably lose money to do something like that. Unfortunately is up to the parents to find a particular restaurant that meet some of the criteria you described. Our society isn’t ready yet, still some restaurants aren’t step free so…

It would be nice to make accommodations for everyone... but unfortunately with ASD there is literally a spectrum of needs. You are never going to meet everyone's needs... the potential for liability too... especially in a legal action/sue happy country like America would be astronomical and I doubt businesses want to take that on.

Not every business can do it. But it would be lovely if more were able to!

Yes. My daughter is autistic and it was so hard to find childcare. A lot of centers won’t take autistic kids. I’m planning on opening up a special-needs daycare in our county for this reason after I get my degree

My brother is on the spectrum (he's 26 now) and growing up I remember we couldn't go out or stay out too long because of him. I think your best bet is staff being educated on the subject. However, people in general should be educated because I remember how many times my parents had to leave a place because people complained about my brother. But this will take time. I suppose now there is a bit more awareness about autism than it used to be when my brother was little, but still people tend to be very self centered and not think from someone else's perspective

As an autistic person who has autistic kids there are so much things we need accommodations for but I think honestly one of the biggest things we struggle with is ableism. People expecting us to try harder and to wear our masks is actively harming us on the daily. We would not need separate rooms if people learned how to face ableism and internalized ableism. The separate rooms also make us feel more othered than we already do. Why can’t restaurants just be more inclusive? But considering how most public places handle visible disabilities it is hard enough let alone those of us with invisible disabilities. I also find it interesting when talking of autistics it’s always about kids but never autistics adults.. which is interesting cuz it’s genetic… it’s passed down so if a kid is autistic a parent probably is too. Like we don’t magically grow out of autism when we hit 18 lol

And my personal issue with the sensory shopping hours at places like Walmart are still not inclusive. A lot of us autistics have insomnia, which makes us more night owls than early birds and a lot of these special hours for us or in the morning. They’re rarely at night time if they had like a come shop at 10 PM that would be cool, but I’m never awake to go shopping before noon And I know I’m not alone in my autistic community with this one even my kids don’t like to wake up early. Like it’s a spectrum not every one of us is gonna wanna wake up early some do but a lot don’t.

@Lyss I think most people talk about kids in this situation because the kids tend to be a lot more disruptive to others around them than the adults. I don’t think people think you grow out of autism once you hit 18 lmfao. The adults just tend to have more life and coping experience and aren’t nearly as disruptive. Sensory hour at Walmart is during 8-10am because they also dim the lights during it which it would become too dark for them to do that at 10pm when they are at peak stocking time with tons of employees and pallets on the salesfloor and extra noises from that with only an hour until close. They would not be able to make it nearly as sensory friendly as they can in the morning when the store is already well stocked and its light outside. It just wouldn’t make sense for them to do it at night close to closing time.

@Lauren i understand why logistically they do it. I’m just explaining on how it’s still not an inclusion thing. They do it to look good but it doesn’t necessarily help my community. And yes i understand kids are visibly “disruptive” but that’s because as adults we don’t learn to cope we have learned to mask which is detrimental to our health. Just because allistics don’t see us struggle doesn’t mean that we don’t actively struggle in restaurants. And that’s why i mentioned invisible disabilities… as autistic adults they don’t acknowledge or see us until we are disruptive and they call the cops on my black and poc peers in my community. As a white autistic I don’t have that fear but if they had a public meltdown that could be a life or death situation. I don’t think i would consider that coping as much as survival. And that’s why we need to talk about it and why there needs to be education. I’ve lost too many in my community cuz people are not educated enough about us.

@Lyss yeah the sensory thing is all a gimmick with Walmart, definitely agree. And I don’t think most people care if a child is “visibly” disruptive rather they care more about being audibly disruptive. If people are supposed to just sit there through an entire meal they’re also paying for while a child (or adult) is screaming at the top of their lungs then that’s not very inclusive to others at that point especially to those who have noise sensitivities. Unfortunately if you cater to one you gotta cater to all and that’s just not possible. It’s unrealistic to expect people to be okay with one thing to cater to one subsection of the population that actively hurts another subsection of the population too. At that point your only solution is a separate section of a restaurant or just taking advantage of what’s offered with what hours they can do at stores for sensory reduction or shopping online or doing grocery pickup later in the day. Education is important but so is being realistic.

@Lyss I definitely don’t think you grow out of autism when you hit 18. I get what you mean tho in all you said. Education as I’ve said definitely needs to be better in teaching ppl about all disabilities/spectrums. Maybe we’d have less ignorant ppl if we actually had a class in school. I wanted to be screened for autism because I have characteristics of autism AND peers noticing my differences and was actually declined from the therapist I had for screening because “what would that even do for you” I guess it’s a waiting game to see if my daughter may be because idek genetic wise! 😭

@Patience I personally feel that if you think you could be autistic don’t let one therapist deny you. Unfortunately even in the professional world of therapy they can be very uneducated about autism. And being afab (a female at birth) doctors constantly gaslight us about what our experiences are. I read your comment above and I would say you have enough understanding of yourself to think you could be autistic that i would dive deeper into it. And yes an official diagnosis might not always be feasible because it is costly and being an adult insurances might be a bitch and just being afab a lot of us are misdiagnosed. If you have any other questions you can talk to me about it! I would recommend checking out embrace-autism.com

And also I feel some of you feel maybe I was pointing at you guys saying you guys are only talking about children but I was speaking of experience. I wasn’t necessarily saying you guys specifically. I was saying society as a whole. A lot of us autistics adults see help and info for autistic kids and for parents of autistic kids but rarely do people talk to actual autistic adults and learn from us to see how they can better accommodate the next generation. I was just generalizing and sharing what I see and experience as an autistic adult. But I do agree that education is needed. I think mental health and nuerodivigent awareness classes should be taught starting in elementary school. Like if an autistic kid is screaming in a restaurant maybe we as a society should see maybe if the mom needs help. Everyone can use diversity and inclusion classes. But that’s also why so many of us are scared of a what certain places are doing to education and why I have to homeschool my kids.

I think it could be nice to have specific restaurants for that. But like any other restaurant they shouldn’t be required to do that. Parents need to just go out and don’t care to be judged. People will judge you if you have kids no matter what. You try to have a good time and you try to teach your kid manners or to be quiet and sometimes it’ll work and sometimes it won’t. Then you chose how to handle it. Go to the car if the kid needs a break or don’t go out at all. But have some restaurant could be fun having rooms or spaces like that or just going to a quiet place to eat would also be great.