Christmas gifts from family

I don’t want to seem like I’m being ungrateful but I’m getting really annoyed with relatives with regards to Xmas gifts. Every year I get asked by hubbys family for a list of things they can buy for his birthday at the beginning of December and also for Xmas. He’s so hard to buy for so this isn’t easy as I also have to think of things to get him myself and split them across the two occasions. It’s like they put no effort into it and are just giving for the sake of it. They’ve now started doing the same for my daughter (this is her first Christmas) and asked me to send them the exact things I want them to buy for her. Is this a normal thing people ask when you have children? I get that they don’t want to buy things she already has but I always grew up with gifts being a surprise and still enjoy choosing gifts for friends and family that I think they will love not things that they’re expecting. Myself and my husband aren’t giving/ receiving gifts ourselves this year so I was super excited to experience the excitement through her as it’s her first Christmas but I feel so uncomfortable telling people what to buy her.

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Im the opposite, id rather tell people so i can know whats coming as i dont have much space and family have gone crazy for her. Im talking 25 books, a rocking horse, market shop stand, theatre stand. Just lots of big things and im in a 1 bed flat🙃😂 plus shes 6 months old shes not going to roleplay a market stand anytime soon. Id of rather have more say in it. Ive always asked my sister what my nephews want/need But if you want the surprise, you could give more general ideas. Ie montessori toys 9-12months, experience gifts so like they could choose farm/zoo trips etc

I’d circle the Argos catalogue as a kid. A lot of people I know ask what others may want😉

My in laws family are exactly the same they wanted specific links for me baby and husband instead I've given them clear guidelines but not specific items so they're is some element of surprise still. E.g long pyjamas size 14 for me but not a link for a certain pair so they have to use their brain a bit. I've sent links in the past and it takes the joy out of Christmas knowing exactly what we are all getting so using little ones first Christmas to start changing that. I've sent a while list to ask the family rather than certain things to certain people too as I feel more comfortable people coding how much they spend

I prefer to tell people, and like wise, I ask people to tell me a bunch of stuff they would like. That way, I can pick 1 or 2 items out of the list, and they still have no idea which one because I asked for a list. There is nothing worse than getting a gift you don't want and your money being wasted buying something people don't want.

This would be amazing for me personally! MIL has already got everything asked for but still goes out and buys 'additional' things that LO would 'love' and while I love it there is no room for anything additional to go. We also don't have the same taste in clothes so it can be a bit of a struggle unless I'm there 🤣🤣 maybe give them a list but only say to be 'x' of them, then at least you know it will be things needed/fits in the space - but also a surprise?

I initially asked for no gifts, or if people insisted, vouchers for his next size clothes but was told people want to buy him things. So I made an Amazon list with some small gifts like books and bath toys with the idea that people could pick n choose one thing off the list if they wanted. This plan backfired because my MIL bought everything on the list.

People always ask and I think it’s great! Otherwise they could spend money on something my children would not like/use whereas they spend their hard earned money on something which we actually need or I know my children will love

We have a mixture of both, as a child I loved not knowing what I or anyone else was getting! As an adult I appreciate people wanting to give exact presents, means my house doesn't get full with duplicates or just rubbish that isn't suitable 🤣 I end up re-gifting bits often because I have sensitive skin and can't use a lot of the gift sets typically gifted 🤣

i think it’s sweet that you like the idea of everybody being surprised, but i think that you’re thinking about it the wrong way. as others have said, i much prefer people asking and asking others so it avoids hard earned money being spent and wasted on either duplicates or something that won’t be liked and/or bothered with. sometimes it’s actually quite easy to just pick up anything from a shop than to actually care what you’re buying so that the person likes it. you should definitely send people ‘ideas’ or multiple different things to choose from so that there’s still that element of surprise! but they don’t have to stress about wasting money and the gift not being liked☺️

Ask for money for the bank account / to put towards something big or clothes 2 sizes too big so they’re waiting for you next wardrobe turn over x

I make a list of generic items for example a fleece but then add like these and will include a few links of things I like. That way they can either get that or find something similar. I always put the kids savings account details on the list in case they’d prefer to put money in there. As a gift buyer I also prefer some direction from people as I wouldn’t want my hard earned money to go to something that was never worn/used

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