Mother treating my toddler as her child!
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You didn’t say how but whether you make her stop or you just always make the difference clear to your child. My partners mom used to undress our kid and put her in her outfit pick every time we visited. I hated it but I’d let it be or I’d find any reason to change her clothes. Oh no she peed through her diaper or spilled something on it - time to change. Now that mine is nearing 3, I let her help pick her clothes. His mama recently visited us and said I want her to wear this dress to church. Well I didn’t bc it was 3T brand new and my daughter still has 2T brand new stuff to wear before it’s too small. So I grabbed 3 other dresses but included hers and told my baby to pick. She picked what she wanted which was not granny’s choice. I was happy inside but said nothing. I didn’t explain to her that I didn’t want her to wear it nor did I explain that my daughter made the final choice. She prolly thinks I intentionally ignored her and put my child in something else which is fine.
At the end of the day it is your child & she wears what you want her to wear. Her not listening to you overall tho again access is privilege. You don’t have to cut it off but limit it. She does what she wants bc she knows she has the power to guilt you. My partners Ma does the same to her kids. If it’s something not serious I’ll let it be or when my daughter was younger to keep the peace bc my partner or her other family would try to make me the bad guy. Eventually I stopped caring. No one is sticking up for you better than you. Your toddler is gonna see mom always concedes to gma so she gotta concede to gma too. Gma don’t listen to mom so I don’t need to when gma is around. Absolutely not. Cut that out before it grows into worse things. Tell her your clothes picks aren’t the style I like for her or like I said leave them for when she’s there only to keep the peace or regift them. And please get that bike cause it sound like something for her to pop up with for Christmas anyway
Thank you all, I don't see my mum that often (luckily), but I do need to just pry away from the people pleasing. If she does it again, I'll leave the clothes there at hers. Probably to make a point that I told her no. And if she ever gets that bike I'll just lose it with her. But I think she knows that would be my breaking point. So compromising I said she can get the safety gear. Understand grandparents are going to spoil their grandkids but there are limits 😂
Sorry to hear. You have to break yourself out of the pleasing them. It’s hard, but needs to be done. They raised you and fed you and put a roof over your head because THEY CHOSE TO HAVE YOU. You didn’t ask to be born. Access to your child is a PRIVILEGE- not a requirement. To the clothes, does your child ever spend 1 on 1 time with them? If so, leave the clothes at their house and she can wear it when she’s with them. If not, keep the clothes to the side to use when going to a different kids birthday as gifts so you don’t have to buy a gift. To the babying, I’m not even gonna lie most grandparents imo are this way. I hear them say all the time it’s our job to spoil em. So I’d let it be unless they’re interrupting you or undermining your parenting. In time your daughter will learn you can do that with Grammy but tighten tf up when you come back home with mom and dad AND mom and dads word supersedes granny’s every time. The whole tryna be mum def needs to be cut off.