F*ing MIL’s I can’t deal 🤬

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, would suggest you taking this further. However, I understand where your MIL is coming from. She doesn’t want to get involved between you and your ex, which is understandable x

I would stop where you are, judges do not like other people making their minds up for them and his mum can show this message to the judge. I can see your frustrated and I would be exactly the same but she has offered to help saying if you need me for anything, I would say the best help you could provide me is encouraging your son to pay his share for the children and ask when does he want to meet? I think you’ve got to play your cards a little closer to your chest with this one xx

I would take it to the police if he’s been taking credit cards and things in your name and you have proof he’s done this. I’d contact child maintenance and tell them he’s not been paying and provide them with proof of this, they can potentially take him to court and make him pay it. Hope it gets better soon x

@Kirsten ooo yeah second this xx

I would just take this further with the police yourself, I agree with your MIL that it’s not her business to get involved in, in respect to financial matters - she was polite and it’s her son at the end of the day so she’s in a awkward position😬

He needs to pay for his children, but I do agree with the MIL... She's offered to help you anyway she can with the children but as for the costs he owes you is not her responsibility, she can tell him what he is doing is wrong and may have done! But she cannot force him... He is a fully grown adult, doesn't mean she condones what he is doing but it's out of her hands unfortunately and it's between you and your ex... But yes report him and get it all sorted, but also you don't want to be contradicting yourself either as you've said that you are struggling financially due to him not paying... But then said the kids are happy and thriving, unfortunately with people like this you have to just try and manage on your own and not be reliant on people even if it should be their job! Just concentrate on you and your kids and show him you don't need him but obviously take things further to make sure he does pay what he does owe... Or simply cut him out altogether as tbh do the kids need that in their lives? X

Sorry i agree with your MIL, it's nothing to do with her! Stop trying to guilt trip her, plus bad mouthing her son to her isn't going to do you any favours trust me! She has offered to help you with your children and be there for you, so I honestly don't understand why you're being so shitty and hostile towards her tbf.

I agree with the sentiment of some these comments, and at the same time I can completely empathise with your frustration. You want someone in your corner championing your ex to do the right but ultimately it’s a really difficult situation for them. Finances especially can be a very difficult topic and not something people feel comfortable even being on the periphery of or getting involved in. That being said, I have a lot of empathy for you and it’s upsetting so see the comment that you’re being “shitty”. We’re all mothers here and I’m sorry that you haven’t been shown more grace. I’d also go down the route of contacting child maintenance - sometimes the psychology of that communication from them can be enough to motivate him in the right direction. I wish you all the best, you’ve got this ❤️

@Sammy Thank you so much for this comment❤️ I just want what’s best for my children ❤️

@Ella by potentially burning bridges with your kids grandmother? Who has actually been supportive to you?

Tbh I think I agree a little with the MIL but that said if my son did that I’d kick him out my house 😂 so as much as finances aren’t my business I also will say take responsibility or ur on ur own to him if I was his mum. But I think you’ve done a good job with the text I don’t agree with some comments, I don’t think ur texts are hostile I can see the frustration but I can also see ur trying to be civil and that’s really as much as you need to do because this whole situation is emotional and tough xxxx hope it gets better for u ❤️

@Rebecca She has not by any means! You don’t actually know the full story her husband physically assaulted me at 38 weeks pregnant and many other things. She’s manipulative. You commented your opinion and I appreciate that but maybe just leave it at that instead of getting involved in other comments.

@Ella why would you post without giving FULL context, to then get annoyed at people not knowing the full story! So weird

@Rebecca Have a day off jeez

I'm so sorry but I agree with the MIL. Her son is an adult and makes his own decisions. She's providing a roof over his head like any parent would, it doesn't mean she gets to tell him what to do with his money (even if she did, he isn't likely to listen to her!)

@Ella why would you post something on here and then get shitty with people for giving you their opinions? Funnily enough, pretty much everyone else on here has the same opinion as me, I just don't sugar-coat it. If you want it sugar coated then go get a donut.

I can understand your frustration but I'm with the MIL on this one. Those matters are between you and the father. Shes allowed to be there for her grandkids and she obviously will be there for her son but his arrears to you in maintenance have nothing to do with her. He is a grown man and has to go through life making his own wrongs and rights. Definitely go to the police over the fraud but your bank should also be helping you out if you've told them it's fraud and you know who by. I don't think you MIL did anything wrong in this situation.

This is tricky, she is right she doesn’t have to do anything. But I understand why it would feel like she’s already somehow involved seeing as he’s still living with her and that’s where your kids go. But honestly, I wouldn’t escalate anything further with her, you gotta protect yourself and watch what you say for your child’s sake. It can be very frustrating

I’m with the grandma on this … Just reach out to professionals to help u situate this… I personally do not want to be dealing with my ex BD AND his mom … nope one is already enough headache I personally want my MiL as far as possible from my relationship and issues

I'm with MIL here. She shouldnt be part of this. And, Honestly, I don't even know that I'd want her help if I was in your shoes. You just never know what she might say to a judge if she gets subpoenad for a potential child custody hearing. The way I would play this if I were you (I'm no lawyer, but it's how I personally would handle it) is a few things 1. Keep contacting the father every week requesting payment for 6 weeks via text or email and keep his responses (or lack of response) don't delete anything and be very matter of fact with him. 2. Call the credit bureaus and put locks on your credit so that nobody can open new accounts in your name without you physically calling back to unfreeze it. 3. Once you lock the credit, dispute it by going to authorities and see what they say. 4. After 6 weeks, bring all evidence that he has been committing fraud and not paying you to a lawyer and sue him. They might be able to garnish his wages. And who knows what the fraud stuff might bring up for charges.

Either way, sounds like you might have a bit of a battle ahead of you. I'm sorry because I'm sure this is incredibly frustrating for you. and terrifying to be honest. Your feelings in this are 100% valid. But play your cards right and expose him for all that he is. His mom will likely always have his best interest at heart. And that could mean saying something to a judge one day that could make things even more frustrating than they currently are. Again, I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I hope it gets resolved sooner rather than later

Yep agree with MIL completely!