I need answers 😂

What do you call it when you know you should be mad at your SO after finding out he disrespected you behind your back, he mistreats you, he doesn’t take you on dates, he isn’t romantic, he treats everybody else better than you! He doesn’t want to spend quality time with you, all he wants to do is play the game! And it’s like you’re mad at him and then suddenly you find your self constantly trying to put in effort! Like you don’t even feel mad when you know you should be! And it’s like you don’t want to be with him but you’re constantly trying to make things work! But everything is one sided and you know it is and yet no matter how hard you try to stop caring you still do!🤦🏽‍♀️ you’re always the one saying you love them and miss them! When you know your feelings should be completely turned off with them because of what they’ve put you through!😮‍💨 like why I am trying to make things work like I’m the one who’s done him wrong!?🥴 what is wrong with me!! Please help😩