What should I do?
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It sounds like he’s probably seeing his ex secretly or wanting her back ? But he’s staying with you out of obligation ( kids/marriage) and fear ( his mom ) and you don’t deserve that 🥺 if he’s not giving you the love you deserve or want even after you have talked to him about it, then he obviously doesn’t care, and purposely choosing not to be affectionate with you. What is your instincts telling you? What happened after you caught him messaging his ex ? Did he brush it off or blame you ? Or was he remorseful? Same boat on the intimacy part, similar situation ( boring sex life, never pleases me and once he’s done because he’s done because he doesn’t last very long 🤦🏽♀️ & infidelity with his mistress that I found out about during our breakup etc ) now he wants to make it work but can’t deal with the new version of me that he created ( which idc tbh ) I’m not making it easy to be with me because he needs to prove he’s changing and earning my trust back isn’t gonna be easy too )
@Phyllis last night he fell asleep I checked his phone I FOUND NOTHING His ex wife they share a child together but in my religion n culture once you’re divorced its forbidden to have contact with each other plus she’s rude and disrespectful not someone you can get along everyone who knows her thinks she’s unstable mentally that’s how rude she is .. so he can only reach out to her father brother any male family member but she always tries to reach out to him n cause chaos so I told him two years ago stop talking to her n block her He went behind my back and changed her name to supposedly his her father that’s how he’s staying in touch My problem isn’t that he wants her back cuz I know he hates her but I know she wants him but in our religion they can’t be together unless she remarried gets divorced and it has to be a legitimate marriage not only to marry and divorce to be able to get married back to him.. even when she didn’t know he was married to me she was still saying stuff
@Phyllis anyways he woke up to me checking his phone he goes what are you doing I said checking ur phone he got out of bed and tried to take the phone from me Here’s the thing I believe he cleaned his phone aweek ago when I found out him still talking to her as I mentioned my problem isn’t cuz he’s in contact with her it’s the fact he lies to me about it idc they can’t be together anyways I told him you were gone 5 days you didn’t even hug me he said I wanted to but you said turn off the light !!!? I said turn off the light cuz our baby is sleeping n she hates the light in her ours n that’s his reason for not hugging me .. lol I let it go as many times I have in the past idc I think he’s gay sometimes 😅😂
Doesn’t sound like he hates her if he went through all that trouble to change her name so they could keep in touch! And yes if he caught you, he would’ve cleaned his phone to make sure there’s no traces ( my bd did the same ) including changing passwords so I wouldn’t be able to get into his phone to find out more details ( they think they can get away with it in a different “smarter” ( but actually obvious way 🤦🏽♀️ ) so yeah he’s definitely hiding things, trust me my bd was the same
Lol @ gay 😂 💀 don’t get me wrong, I question my bd’s behaviour too because he thinks trying to dance like how a female would is sexy 🤢 and then his group chat with his boys, they all message each other like they’re gay / dating like how girls chat in groups. Sus
I’m sorry 😞 just want you to know you deserve better and I don’t think he’s worth staying for at all. You don’t have to settle, wishing you the best of luck! 💛