Who’s being a “bad” friend

I’m a young mom but have been best friends with my best friend since we were like 7/8 years old so over 10 years. When I got pregnant we lived about 20 min for each other and saw each other every single day. She told me how when he was born she’d be there for me and be around all the time go to the park etc. and mid way through the pregnancy my mom moved 40 min away and I’m super close to my mom I have to see her multiple times a week. So I used to drive everyday to see my mom 40 min away but my best friend couldn’t be alone she would get mad or passive aggressive twords me if I didn’t pick her up or invite her even if I knew she’d say no or even wait for a time where she’d be available too. Well about 32 weeks into my pregnancy I stopped driving and my boyfriend and I moved into my mom’s apartment because I just couldn’t drive anymore and she never once came to see me the entire time. When I had my baby she’s come and seen him maybe a total of 5/6 times and he’s 8 months old. She tells me I’m being a bad friend because I don’t text or call her very much anymore but I don’t wanna text or call I want her to come visit me. Am I wrong?

Show your support

That's ridiculous of her. They should understand and that you're a mom now. You have priorities and need to do what's best for you. If she's the type that can't be alone; that is something she needs so work on. I don't blame you for not wanting to do anything with her. Mom life really changes you and everything very different.

Priorities change when you have a baby! So shame on HER; not you. You guys can still b good friends but you each have to b committed to the friendship 50/50, but if she wants to get upset that youre being busy on mommy duties, then you sure as hell don't need her around. As adults now, we each need to understand we are not kids anymore, even if she's not a mom, she doesn't need to act like a grown child.

What above comments said. Its a two way street, she could reach out to you. She will realise what youre going through once she becomes a mom. No on realises how hard becoming a mom is untill they go thru it and shes prob gonna get it worse

I think she’s being way too immature and needy as a friend. She needs to understand people grow up, a baby is a huge priority, and she should have the security in the longevity of your friendship that you won’t just drop her because you are needing a bit more time to your life and child. Mature friendships are adaptive, and grow with you. If this friend cannot grow with you then it’ll only hold you back. Like pruning a tree of the bad leaves

That’s really bad of her honestly. I have a best friend. We lived not far from each other, have known each other since we were 5, and we saw each other practically non stop until 2018 when I moved countries. Before I had kids I’d text, FaceTime and call her non stop and once the kids came along I would sometimes go days if not weeks before I replied because sometimes I’d be so busy or exhausted I couldn’t bring myself to reply. She hasn’t got kids and she’s an only child but she not only understands my stress and forgives me instantly every time but she also gets them Christmas presents, keeps photos of her with them on her phone and she’s flown to visit me a few times and when she’s here she literally carries my child everywhere and plays with her constantly without me saying anything. If she is truly your friend she would understand your struggle and support you as much as she can. She has to understand that life and relationships do change after children whether you like it or not

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