Conditional love

I’m not looking for any advice this is just something I need to get off my chest. Maybe someone will relate. I’ve been with my husband for 9 years now and I’ve never felt close to his kids. In total honesty I’ve always kept up a wall with them. Their mother is overbearing and has been verbally and at times physically abusive towards my husband during their marriage as well as with the kids. She is the type of mom who will be cruel but then turn around and shower them with love and gifts. We never speak poorly of her but I know she has given her negative opinion of my husband to them. I’ve seen this behavior rub off onto the kids and they’ve treated each other horribly since the day I came into their lives. It’s only become worse as they got older. We do our best to model loving behavior but it never seemed to matter. The way that they speak to their dad is so disrespectful and I’ve always kept my distance emotionally because I never wanted to be treated that way too. I’m not mean to them but I don’t go out of my way for them either. I care about their well being but don’t love them unconditionally. Now that I have my own little one it’s even more prevalent since I understand how unconditional love can be. I never felt like I would have been much of an influence anyway since their mom’s word is final. I feel like my husband could have done more but I understand his plight in dealing with an ex such as his. I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t looking forward to the day they no longer live with us and we can raise our children in peace. The oldest will be moving in with her mom sometime by the end of next year and the youngest I imagine will be moving out to go to college when she’s done with school. She’s the type who would want to get out as soon as she graduates. I’m just tired of living under their mother’s power and influence over them.