Marriage over or just babies stress

How do you know if your marriage is over or if it's just the stress of 2 under 2 that's causing it?? I actually can't tell if I even like my husband anymore - he's definitely not bad compared to some of the posts I've read on here but still..... It might seem like small things but it's constant and I now feel like we don't agree on anything and don't get on at all Take yesterday - I went to a wake to show my face and then home for about an hour and then to the hairdresser. The wake obviously wasn't planned until the day before but the hairdresser was booked weeks ago after I had checked with him did the date and time suit him to mind the kids. I was getting something different done so it'd be less maintenance and therefore I didn't know how long I'd be and it ended up being longer than expected..... He was not at all impressed. Ended up arguing with me over how I said I'd be back at one time and didn't come back till later - I did text him throughout so he knew it when I'd be back, saying how stressful it was to make dinner and mind the kids (yeah I know, I've done it enough times!!) our youngest (2 mths) was screaming and he couldn't settle him and he literally screamed down the phone at me when I left the hairdressers that he "needs help!" (FYI It was wind)....... Absolutely no acknowledgement that he had a few hours of what I have everyday and that HE often tells me he will be back at a certain time and doesn't come back for hours after that with no communication about it. Or that I have to ASK him if he will be around to mind the kids and plan everything I want to do in advance but he just does what he wants. Our eldest is 21 mths and so doesn't have many words and like most (all?) toddlers screams when she gets frustrated etc, he keeps giving out to her and yelling back at her which we have argued about so many times. He never does washing etc but magically I'm to do all that too with the two babies but I don't "need help"??? I'm at the point now where I actually think he's a hindrance not a help and it'd be easier to be a single mother. I don't even think I like him as a friend anyone let alone as a husband, it's just constant bickering and never seems to end. How do you know if it really is it or we are just in the eye of the storm with 2 under 2 and it will get better???

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That is not cuz you have 2 under 2. Screaming and yelling is abuse. So not only is he abusing you he is abusing your toddler!! Like he is a grown up and he should act like one. I can see why you would not be interested in a man with the same emotional maturity as a 21 month old!! Do not compare yourself to others because your feelings and emotions are important! You and your children do not deserve that. Being with someone is about a partnership and your man is acting like a whinny bratty teenager cuz you are absolutely right that you should not have to ask to go get your hair done!! He is the dad and he should step up and be one!! But Noooo he is using weaponized incompetence. If you decided to leave this man you have every right! Cuz your babies dont deserve to be yelled at and neither do you! 🫂💝

I havnt read all of it but id say its the stress. People can always make a marriage work unless there’s obvious abuse. Babies cause a lot of stress. And it can cause problems in a marriage. That’s why you have to work through them. By like going on dates by yourselves. Maybe counseling. Maybe things that can bring yall closer together

Communication also needs to happen to figure out wants and needs and how yall can help the kids and each other

2 under 2 is a lot of stress to be honest. I have them myself. But he needs to realise that you go through all of that stress on a daily basis, while he couldn’t even cope for a few hours. Honestly men just don’t realise how bad it gets but we mothers still sail through it.

Hey! It sounds like like what I went through with my husband . Having 2 under 2 is challenging. Even when we only had one , he could only mind the baby for 1 hour at a time. I couldn’t do anything and I would rely mostly on my mom instead of him. So I had those feelings as well. That he was useless. Then when we had 2 the stress got worse and I left him. There were other issues too. But we were separated for a few months and then got back together and he’s changed a lot. While we were separated he learned to handle both kids (they’re 3 and 1 now). He also started getting counseling for his own mental health. And we also did marriage counseling. A 2 month old and 21 month old are hard ages. As they grow older things will become less stressful but you also need to make sure you learn to communicate better.

Heeeey I have this issue I've got 7 month n 2 Yr old ots hard work but he thinks all I do is sit on my arse all day ....its a full tym job been a mum ur day never ends...even if u get kids to sleep as you got clean again.nmake kids bottles and that so u can actually have time to chill.....its exhausting I'll tell u....

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