Advice please!

39+3 and booked for induction at 40 weeks. I've been feeling pretty disconnected from my pregnancy, and it still doesn't feel real that I'm having a baby. This is making me feel guilty as this is my first baby, and I shouldn't be feeling like this. I haven't had the whirlwind of emotions that people talk about, I don't really feel happy or sad. I had a miscarriage last year, and at the start of this pregnancy I was convinced I was going to miscarry again, and I've spent the whole time since thinking something is going to go wrong. This is a planned pregnancy. My husband and I have been wanting to start a family for years but have waited until the time was right for us, and he is so excited to be a Dad. I'm also worried that I'm emotionally disconnecting from him too. The last time we had any kind of intimacy was when I was around 20 weeks pregnant as he feels uncomfortable doing anything knowing the baby is there. This is also bothering me as I feel it is contributing to not feeling connected to him. I want that magical feeling people talk about after having their baby but I'm worried I'm not going to bond with her once she's born. I'm also worried that the stress of a newborn is going to push my husband and I apart. Can anyone relate to any of this?

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Oh yeh, I definitely relate. And just remember, just cos you're not going through a "whirlwind" of emotions, doesn't mean you're feeling any less of an emotion - all feelings are valid. I think with both my kids when people would ask me if I was excited, I would be like "I'm not sure excited is the right word?" Because I didn't feel excited. Looking forward to not being pregnant? Yes. Wanting everything to go well? Yes. But not excited. And trust me, both my babies were & are loved. As soon as I saw them I thought they were so beautiful & I will protect them fiercely. I think pregnancy hormones can affect us all v differently. We're not all stereotypes, weeping away at sad films, eating ice cream, scrubbing the skirting boards and picking out the cutest outfit for coming home. None of these things show that someone will be a good mother. Also, it is totally normal for your relationship to be put on the back burner like this. It will come back. You will be a great mum, I'm sure - you've got this.

this is so normal 😩 i was so excited to be pregnant in the beginning, at 13 weeks i broke down bc i felt like i didn’t want to be a mum anymore i just wanted to chill with my partner for longer, not long after we split up, then i really didn’t wana do it on my own. 20 week scan i found out it was a girl, i felt more connected to my baby then & i was happy again, baby shopping buying her everything. 30 weeks i got cold feet again! i felt like i wasn’t ready, i wanted my baby to be okay inside me but i didn’t feel that motherly love yet. then i gave birth - my labour & birth was so painful i didn’t even want to do skin to skin, i was in so much pain i didn’t care to see the baby i carried for 9 months i just felt broken. a few hours later after id eaten a little, i looked over at her & fell inlove. she’s home now, im 9 days postpartum & she is now my whole entire heart. i would do anything for this child! the only thing getting me through this physical pain is her! i just adore her

my point is i know pregnancy is difficult, but once your baby is here i promise you’ll feel a type of love inside you you’ve never felt before. i was so unsure of my baby during pregnancy due to everything i’d gone through but fast forward she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me & i love her with all my heart. also taking care of her is the easiest part of all of it! all she wants is milk & cuddles & she sleeps soo much. at nights i actually wait for her to wake up bc i feel so bored without her, new borns sleep so much too. you’ll be absolutely fine! you’ll never get bored of your baby, i actually miss mine when im in another room 😭

I had a miscarriage before my first son was born and I was the same. I didn’t feel pregnant and it really didn’t sink in that I was having/had a baby until about 2 months after he had arrived!! Don’t feel pressured to feel a certain way. My husband and I both said we didn’t get that gushing feeling of love that people talk about and that is fine. We both love him so much and it really didn’t matter that we didn’t get that overwhelming feeling. We were more in shock than anything. The worry is completely normal after having a miscarriage and I think that’s why we don’t connect. I had the exact same worries with my 2nd after having a successful pregnancy. With your partner, there is going to be a massive change in your relationship. You could try squeeze in a date day/night before baby comes. It’s good to expect that there will be change to as you’re going to have someone else to prioritise. Just work on still making time for each other where possible. Xxx