Hubby said he has postpartum depression

Leave himmm

Hey mama, I first want to start off by saying what you're feeling is completely valid. I'm a postpartum doula and even though I know you're in the thick of it, fathers also actually do deal with postpartum depression, my hubby went through it and its statistically proven. I'm so sorry you got fired, I also got fired from two different jobs because I was pregnant, hence another reason why i do what i do now. Im also a big advocate of mental health and therapy, especially in moments like this. If you'd like someone to talk to, I'm here. ♥️

Pretty sure you can sue or at least file a complaint for being fired. You were recovering from surgery which they are required to deal with.

If you were fired while recovering from a C-section, it could potentially be considered pregnancy discrimination under the law, depending on your specific circumstances and the laws in your jurisdiction; you may have legal grounds to file a complaint against your employer if they terminated you solely due to your need for medical leave related to the C-section recover. Your employer is typically required to provide reasonable accommodations for your medical needs during recovery, which could include modified work duties or an extended leave of absence. If you believe your termination violated pregnancy discrimination laws, you may be able to file a complaint with the relevant employment agency in your area.

This is a tough one because I can feel the rage and resentment in your post. Some men don’t automatically bond with baby and PPD in men can look very different to PPD in women. I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this especially after a c-section. Birth can be traumatic for mums and dads too and I learnt that after my second traumatic birth really had an effect on my partner. Like you I struggled to see how or why - I was the one in agony and who could have died. But once that fog cleared for me I started to see how scary it must have been for him too, and I could see how that had an impact on his ability to bond with our son. Take all the time you need, he certainly needs to take some action if he feels he’s suffering - a person who’s drowning themselves cannot keep another afloat. All I can say is it does get better and there is a light, recover and rest with your mum, hopefully this will ease some of the pressure and stress and show your partner he needs to make positive changes x

You do realise post partum depression may very well be the reason for his behaviour?

OK, firstly PP depression absolutely does affect men too! The fact you laughed in his face is actually pretty vile tbh I won't lie. If he has it then this will be WHY he is behaving this way. I'd have told him I wanted a discussion first before calling the divorce lawyer! Wishing the father of your child is horrible. I too suffer with PP rage (feeling it now tbh)

Firstly I want to say ppr is no joke I had it severely, I lost so much weight the first 2 weeks after birth I was classed as ‘clinically unwell’ my midwife could feel the bottom of my stomach, my partner was also not good, he didn’t do one feed, change, wake up, nothing, I told him I was going to 💀 us all etc etc, he told me he was suffering and struggling to bond and feel close to us, I was so angry at first and couldn’t understand, wanted to leave him but after sitting up all night crying and being angry I actually realised that yes he is showing signs of ppd and I actually suggested it to him instead, we did things differently after that, I looked after baby and he did a lot of the housework/cooking (ordering in mostly lol) I’d go out for the day and come back in the evening to a clean home, bottles washed etc, it still felt lonely and I still wanted more but I just tried to appreciate what he was doing, you need to have a conversation and remember that even though -

You had the baby and do everything men can also struggle and have these feelings too, it’s not right that we treat them less than. It’s hard and also hard for them watching their significant other who probably appeared strong before having a baby completely change before their eyes, it must throw you off! It’s an adjustment. Please don’t make any rash decisions! Go and stay w your mum for a few days/weeks and continue communicating, the first few months are the hardest but after that it gets easier x

I can feel the rage and hurt in your post. I understand your resentment but men can also suffer PPD and it can look different to mothers. Speaking from experience, my husband really struggled in the beginning, he could barely look at our baby for about 2 months. It did cause tension and bickering, but I rode the wave. We discussed it gently, and I gradually gave him more and more responsibility and I could see him falling in love with our boy. Our son is now 12 months and I’d probably say my husband is a better parent than me. Their bond is impeccable and he really is a wonderful, patient, gentle, knowledgeable father. It just took a few months for him to get there. I know it’s not ideal, and it feels unfair being the one to do all the work. Someone told me once that having a baby is like throwing a grenade on a marriage, and it really really rings true. I do think if you’re feeling this rage it’s good to get away for a few days and get some help from your mum

Hurt people hurt people and you are hurting. Many couples parent differently also one usually Dora more than the other. Usually us moms. Ur not the victim! Get your mental together, see a Dr. from what you wrote ur mentally unfit to be with baby alone. Get help and assist him in getting help to.

You’re really insensitive. Men can go through PPD and PPA. My husband did. Sure I felt a type of way AFTER I went through it myself and he didn’t support me the way I supported him.

Yalls responses suck (most) we go through ppd, ppa psychosis and we STILL are active and the main parents. As a parent you don’t pick and choose when you can be active in your child’s life. Sorry ppd is not an excuse to not support your partner at all. No ones saying men can’t suffer but this is such a critical point in a mothers life he should be able to help carry the mental load. Op is really suffering and should be able to rely on her husband for support. If she wasn’t there he WOULD figure it out the baby wouldn’t starve or be in dirty diapers… a lot of mothers function while feeling these feelings all the time. Op just wanted to vent… yall be giving FATHERS too much credit. Our bodies are the ones going through traumatic hormonal changes we get cut up and tore up… Op I hope you get the support you need from your mom❤️ & once your in a level headed mental state you can sit down with your husband and have a conversation with him in which you both feel heard