I'm done trying to be productive
Currently my fiance and I live with his grandfather, and I am incredibly grateful that he's letting us stay in his house for seriously cheap ($200/month and half of the utilities). My issue is that both my fiance and his grandfather are constantly on my ass about how I'm home all day with baby and the house is still messy, 90% of which is all THEIR mess. Our daughter (almost 5 months old) is extremely clingy, as to be expected, but I can't even leave her sight without her freaking out. I have a baby wrap to carry her while I do things, but she'll only stay in it peacefully for maybe 20 minutes unless she falls asleep. She won't sleep alone so nap time still doesn't give me time to do anything. There are times where I can plop my girl in her play gym with some toys and she'll be okay for like 15 minutes and I try to use that time to be productive, but as soon as go do something, I find either the task is way harder than originally anticipated and will take way too long, or there are things missing because my fiance and his grandpa never put things back where they belong. And they NEVER help unless we're expecting visitors. Also they get super pissed if I invite anyone over without deep cleaning the house first, even if it's just my mother or aunt who have dealt with the struggle of managing baby and home at the same time. My mother actually helps clean almost every time she visits because she feels bad for me, but that pisses them off more because they expect me to do it all on my own. And if I do manage to actually get something done start to finish in one day, they don't even appreciate it. Either they ignore it or I get "it's about time, that was supposed to get done ages ago". I'm just fucking over it. From now on I'll only do what I need and if an outside person like my mother offers to help, they'll be helping with things for baby and I, anything else can get fucked unless my fiance or his grandpa decide to actually step up and help out in their own home.
Agree, men will never understand unless they have a day to try out themselves in your shoes. Which you should actually ask your fiancé to do so he can see what you go through everyday. It’s hard managing all the housework by yourself ( same boat ) it was ok for me with one child but bd never appreciated it & use to say “that’s a woman’s job anyway” but after my 2nd child, it got harder to manage plus the big age gap between my kids etc. now he says “what have you been doing all day”. He has never tried to take care or help out with our kids since our firstborn was a newborn ( who is now 8 ) and never once with our 2nd so I’ve been doing my kids by myself all the time and rarely get breaks ( maybe 2-4x’s a year since my oldest was 4yrs ) 1 sleepover during a school holiday ( or me going to the sleepover ) at my moms house so I could get a break & my mom and siblings would let me rest while they entertained, fed them, bathed them, took them out for the day etc ) 💝 . I got sick of my bd