I find motherhood so lonely

Does anyone else feel this way? I moved a year or so before I had my baby so I'm not very close to family or friends. I thought my mum would be keen to spend time with her grandson and would visit frequently as she had suggested this while I was pregnant, but she seems to have changed her mind. She's retired and likes to do lots of hobbies, and I get the feeling that visiting us is a chore for her. For this reason, I don't ask her to visit unless it's really necessary (like I have an appointment or something) because I don't want her to feel pressured to spend time doing something that she doesn't really want to. My wider family doesn't visit us at all or contact me over phone etc. My pre-baby friends are much the same, and I only get to speak to them if I initiate conversation. This whole situation has really made me feel quite low, and also sad for my son as he doesn't have any other adults in his life - aside from me and my husband - who cherish spending time with him. (My husband's family live in a different country so I'm not including them in this explanation as we can't see them frequently, although we would love to be close to them, as would they us.) My husband is very supportive, however he works long hours and I spend most of my time alone with my baby. This whole experience has really put me off having another baby - even though I would love to - because I just feel I have no support system. I do take my son to visit my mum, but it is difficult as the car journey isn't easy on him and his sleep is heavily disrupted when away from home. I wonder if anyone else has found motherhood isolating in this way too.

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Yes! Although I must say, I don’t feel like this after having baby no2. The first year with baby no1 felt lonely and no matter where I went or what I done I felt like I was doing it alone (even though baby was with me) Since having my second child it doesn’t feel like that. It’s almost like we are too busy and distracted to be lonely. Also, once your baby is talking they will bring you into many social interactions 😅 I try to make conversation with at least one person a day, either a stranger or messaging someone I know already. Put yourself out there 🫶🏻

This is 100% the same situation I’m in, it really does suck😣

Mums' class, stay and play sessions, building a group with other mamas really help 🙏🏻 I was in the same situation so I know the feeling. If you try to take actions things will improve

I know exactly how you feel. I moved in with my partner when I was pregnant with my first. We live in a remote village and I know no-one. There is nothing to do here and I can't drive. There are 3 buses a day. Like you, my friends disappeared off the radar, both my parents have passed away and my sister who I thought would be a devoted Auntie doesn't seem to want to know. I had a 2nd baby as me and my partner wanted my eldest to have them to look out for each other when older. My eldest was then diagnosed with autism and is extremely hard work. I'm stuck at home 24/7 with no one to talk to and feel like I'm slowly going insane. My partner works full time with his work only 10 minutes drive away but when we have appointments for the girls he has to take time off work. I can't go out on my own with them as the eldest just runs everywhere and has no sense of danger. Plus I'm epileptic with uncontrolled seizures so I panic about what would happen to the girls if I was out with them alone.

Yeah my mum isn't the enthusiastic grandma I imagined either and while I have friends its really hard to make time to see them and for them even harder. I made a lot of new friends this year and really enjoy that as the way to go as they get me and are so much more supportive and understanding of what is going on for us than anyone without small children! It is really hard without a support system. Its nice to have someone to vent to who can understand and not judge. If i mention anything to either of our families they will just judge me and criticise to the extreme - so what i tell them is like an insta highlight reel. Highlights only. and I can't even confide in my cousin either as worry it would get back to my mum who would find a way to make literally any small issue which is no one's fault or totally normal being due to me being a terrible mum 😅 I also don't know how I could be a mum of 2 and keep them happy as my partner works all the time I'm not working or so it seems! So much overtime

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