When to stop…
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I’ve failed two ivf icsi cycles! Leaving myself in 15k debt. 1st fail at egg collection 2nd fail after transfer - resulted in negative I’m taking few months out to take a break as it can get too much mentally!
I’m going into egg collection number 5 and my 7th transfer and totally understand how you’re feeling. I had the exact same feelings a few rounds ago, but honestly I just kept finding the strength to keep going again and again out of nowhere. Having a break from it all really helps. But those were the moments where I felt impatient/ lost/ lacked purpose which made me want to keep trying. Yes financially it’s super tough as I only got one round free on the nhs, but I just want to see my hubby be a dad more than anything and that keeps giving me the strength to go on. (I obviously want to be a mum too) but I just think you’ll know when you are ready to stop. I said many times “this will be my last round” but we end up just going again. Physically it gets easier, but mentally and financially it does get tougher. You just have to really sit down and imagine if you can live your life without kids and how that would look like for you and whether you would be happy with that decision.
I’m sorry you’ve not had success with your two transfers. I think you’re really sensible to think about setting boundaries about treatment. I have had one IVF cycle, a second trimester loss with our first transfer (a little girl) and we’ve now got her brother who’s 7 months old. We want more and have one embryo stored. I think I would do one more full cycle if that transfer failed (our first cycle was NHS funded) and I think financially, emotionally and emotionally physically I’m not sure I could do it again after that.
We paid for access fertility 3 cycle program with a 50% refund. I decided if it hadn’t worked by then we wouldn’t keep trying. Fortunately I got pregnant on my second transfer (first I got pregnant but ended in a missed miscarriage) I think you need to think what you’re willing to do. Some places do 2 cycle packages (work out cheaper than pay as you go for IVF) it’s hard mentally and also physically to keep going. We also had planned for our childfree future should it not have worked and what we wanted to do / achieve so we could find some peace in it not working. We are transferring for a sibling this week. We have 3 embryos left and have decided we are only going to transfer those and if we don’t have another we are done. No more egg collections. Both financially and physically I am a lot older than when we started ivf. Even though my reserves are still good I don’t want to carry on.