Pip

Have you considered ADHD? Before people jump on me I know it's not the answer to all of life's problems but this sounds a massive amount like me (my husband has to give me my meds too) and I've been diagnosed with ADHD. I chose not to medicate for it and citalopram is taking the edge off of it. Mine didn't come to light until after my first and a lot of women report not realising they had it until they had children when the symptoms got a lot worse. Pip is really really hard to get and very complicated to apply for but some people do get accepted. Maybe look into the ADHD thing first as it might help you understand what's going on. It's very often misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression which is why meds don't really work. When someone told me it sounded like I had it a brushed it off as ridiculous, but then I did a little research and realised I struggled with a lot of it.

@Libby this is something I have thought of before, I’ve never been one to sit and take information, school was so hard and was always seen as the one who didn’t care but I was desperate to learn and be as ‘smart’ as everyone else but I could never take in information, I’m still the same now, If I’m engaging in conversation where someone is going to be speaking to me for more than 5 minutes I switch off, my FIL is a chatterbox and I’ve had to tell him a few times to give me a break🤣 yeah I will speak to my support worker tomorrow and see if this could be a possibility! I’m under the peri natal team and their psychiatrist has decided to leave so she doesn’t know when my next appointment with them will be. I don’t know how I’d feel if I did have it and taking meds for it I hate taking the anti depressants now and tbh I feel as if I’m getting worse, extreme thoughts as well as hearing/ seeing things that aren’t there. Some days I feel like I’m making it all up🥲xx

Don't feel silly ever, this is a safe space and a lot of people here have been threw similar. I'm on pip and the process for applying is tedious, the only advice I can give is have someone like citizens advice or even someone from your local council help you out, get notes from your doctors and all evidence you can find. I hope things start looking up for you soon, you're doing the best you can and you've got this!!

@Megan thank you, I know it’s hard I feel as if I’d be taking it away from someone who really needs it, I never see myself as in need until I say what I’m feeling out loud! My support worker said she will help me with the application process, I’m just stressed because my gp is crap where I’ve had to complain about the dr I always end up seeing🤦‍♀️ I had my notes back because I complained and she said there was no sign of depression because I was clean ( I hadn’t showered in an embarrassingly long time ) and had good eye contact😂 I’ve always worked in customer service so feel like that’s just a natural instinct xx

That sounds like adhd burnout to me, ((may not be but this is almost exactly how a lot of people's autistic/adhd burnouts go)) it feels like your wading through water up to your chest and everything feels impossible to do because you haven't the energy Trust me I completely empathise with you I've been through this a lot and I'm going through it now, you aren't alone, I'm not sure how to dm on here but I'll figure it out and if you like we could have a chat? Having someone non family/friend related to vent to can help and I swear to you I will never judge for anything ever

I think you should apply for pip, when you do get assessed for pip, you are getting scores on points &that depends on how much your health/mental health is affecting your day to day life. I was the same as you in the first 3years on my sons life, I also turned into an alcoholic because of how I felt and how low I was, I also saw psychiatrist but that ended after 3years. In the last year I have done so much work on myself by myself because I have more time to fit in some me time ( my me time is going to college &doing shopping by myself). My son goes to nursery all day Tues &weds. You should never feel ashamed in how you feel and how life is going after having a baby. The good thing is that you have recognise that it’s not normal &you are getting help for it. I hope you start feeling better mama ❤️🤗

Yeah I guess I feel funny about it because it’s money? As strange as that sounds, for me specifically I’d happy if they would just pay for the specific things / contribute eg a cleaner of their choice ect but I suppose it’s not as simple for everyone or every need! I’m glad you’re doing better now! Proud of you for getting out of that, it’s so hard and I feel like everyone is quick to judge the mothers for any little thing. Thank you🤍

I second possible undiagnosed ADHD. Also it sounds like maybe you need different meds. Sometimes the wrong medications and dosages can just zombify us. Speak with your med prescribed and if possible maybe even invite your partner to your session to help you advocate your symptoms and struggles. It sounds like you have a very loving supportive partner and that puts you loads ahead in some ways!

@Brianne yes my support worker is trying to get an appointment with doctors she works with as my gp are horrific! It’s either between fluoxetine or duloxetine I think is the next as we’ve tried different dosages of these ones! He is really supportive and tries to understand and help how I’m feeling xx

I have just been discharged from the perinatal team and my mum works in a different perinatal team. There's no shame in getting this help. I have looked into PIP before. It's funding an extra help put in place so you can be human rather than just a soul. They'll help you work out if you need a cleaner and fund one for you. If you need meals sorted for you and delivered to you. You'll also get help on returning to work and either have it gradual so you can slowly build up the hours or work from home whatever is more beneficial for you. You'll need a medical professional (usually a GP but perinatal can have thier GP step in for you) to explain how you're struggling. Fill out the form as if it's your worst ever day as this will help your case. I'm happy to help go through it step by step if you wanted to message me

@Ebony is that how they will do it? They’ll pay the cleaner directly? I thought they give the money based off needs and then I allocate that to whatever I need, I’m not clued up on anything like this at all. Yes she said she will help me as she knows how rubbish the gp is as I’m not the only one from that gp who has had stuff to say! She did send a text saying to get the forms from HMRC? And she’ll help me with the application, But I’m assuming she meant DWP? Do I need to phone them to get these it’s the only option I can really see online, thank you xx

Drop me a message and I'll be able to go through it all in more detail. I'm dyslexic so waffle is my speciality 😂 but if you need something specific they can sort it. For example if you are missing a leg and can't find a car suitable for your 1 legged needs they'll help you find one and give you the funds or will pay the dealer direct (FIL has 1 leg and got a new car because of it from PIP)

There is two types of PIP mental health is one that gets reviewed so you may have it for a year or more depending on your needs (the second one is life time which is for chronically unwell people). PIP is notoriously hard to get. My friend has Huntington disease and she didn't get someone to help her, which she should have because shes not 100^ cognitivly there. Despite now being too unwell to work she only get £460 a month, she has maybe 6 years left to live if that, so ne prepared for them to be useless. It's there to help you so you can afford things that will help you like home delivery because going to the shop is too much. It's to help with the additional costs that come with a disability whether that's long term or short term. You can work and claim PIP too.

@Helen I’m so sorry to hear about your friend!! Yes I mainly need it for a cleaner/maid to help and I get food shop delivered and pay a monthly fee for it ect! I wasn’t expecting much tbh I’m 50/50 about applying because like you say with your friend she’s only getting so little when I feel like whatever portion I get could be going to her (I know that’s not how it works but if you get what I mean). I’ll speak with my health professional tomorrow and see what she thinks and go from there xx

Don't worry too much about the money. It's there to help people in need. That's why people with mental health issues can get PIP. They're just tricky. I only know two people who are open about being on PIP. One has a life time PIP and they're forever telling me they don't deserve it & then they open the door for me and their arm, elbow and fingers dislocated & we do our little put that thing back where it came from or so help me routine to make it way more entertaining to relocate her joints (we joke about her condition a lot because her EDS is really bad you've got to make light of some doom and gloom). But it just shows even people with conditions that are chronic can feel the same as you. That money will mean you have support and that's what it's there for.