Is anyone else’s mom causing stress?

I can’t really explain or get into complexities- but in the last few weeks my mom has been causing me a ton of stress and snapping at me for no reason. My pregnancy has been incredible, no sickness, literally just worked up to week 39 with a very physical job, I’m in great shape still and have been hustling as a private full- time business owner pregnant. I’m not having any hormone fluctuations and my husband says I’m acting completely normal and says he can’t believe I’m 39 weeks pregnant and almost completely normal still. Been planning this whole time to go Natural and found out she’s most likely a c section- mentally I’m taking it well and just moving on to what needs to be done. However, my mom will just snap at me for no reason… calling me hormonal, telling me it’s been 3 weeks of me treating her like crap- etc etc, saying that I shouldn’t be upset about getting surgery as she has had over 19 now and this one is nothing compared to hers …literally snap and shut down at anything I say on top of trying to compete with me and saying.. “well you lift 60-70 lbs on your back., I was doing 100 when I was pregnant” I’m like wtf? 🧐 She is a widow and I’m an an only child.. I try to make an effort to visit her once a week, she lives an hour away to show her I try to keep her as a priority.. I text her daily and call a few times a week. Friends keep asking me if I have a plan to have people help… tbh I do all myself- my husband and I are always the planners… when other people offer they just cause more stress as we end up having to do it all. Anyone else has this experience? I’m thinking maybe it has to do with more than me? Maybe she’s afraid I’m going to leave her, maybe she’s realizing she’s old enough now to be a grandma? Maybe she’s jealous of my mother in law who has already offered to take our baby once a week to help? I mean… my moms not offering so… she can’t be mad if I take up someone else’s offer.. Sorry just needing to vent- in my heart I want my mom to be supportive and be there and just help… ( my mom is more of a gifter who buys stuff) but I think I’m just desiring something that will never be and maybe should just accept this is how it is…

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Maybe she is thinking that after the baby you won’t be visiting her weekly. At least I know I wouldn’t if I had a newborn. I would not be driving an hour away and an hour back with more than likely a screaming baby both ways. And I could definitely see it being a jealousy thing either with the baby, mil or both. Without knowing her I think any of the reasons you listed could be very possible. Also maybe she’s going through menopause and it’s really her own hormones😅😂

@Bree yeah maybe- I mean… I’m only taking 8 weeks and all my jobs are down by her ( which she has offered to take her when I’m working down there which is minimum 2 days a qeek) - so I shouldn’t say she hasn’t offered it’s more like she’s not offering for anything for me post partum… I’ve made it a point to visit weekly - in southern California everything is an hour lol- it’s not a big deal… we drive that far like very normally lol … my hospital is 45 mins away with traffic but it’s only like 15 miles lol … so if anything I’ll be visiting her more because for the first time in 20 years of working I’ve never not worked… and my husband gets 12 weeks fully paid…neither of us are homebodies … she’s also 71… so meopause is long gone lol

I don’t really have any advice, I wish I did. Just know you’re not alone in this. My mom is acting exactly the same. Just like my mom was the bridezilla of my wedding 2.5 years ago. She’s also making this entire pregnancy about her. I’ve just had to limit my interactions with her, thankfully my husband steps in a lot helps with that. Otherwise the stress she causes me would be giving my high blood pressure for sure.

So my mom got snippy like this around my wedding when we were planning. It was just clear that she was having a moment that things were going to be changing and she was losing me in a way? I think it could definitely be like what you said - that she’s realizing there’s a change coming ! And like you said you do a lot to make sure she feels like a priority and she probably realizes that those things may not be the same as you baby comes into the world. You could always address it with her ? See how that works! Maybe she just needs to talk things out and hear some things out loud

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