So much resentment

I just need to get this off my chest..but I have so much resentment for my husband and it's all made worse because he's great and very helpful for the most part. But I hate that he gets to have his meals in peace while I am screamed at most of the time during my meals or need to be very alert because baby is eating. I hate that be gets to enjoy his hot drinks actually hot and I'm lucky if I get a sip or two before mine become room temp. I hate that I have to do so much planning just to go to the toilet when I'm on my own or have to ask him to look after her when he's here.. it's like asking for permission. I'm so exhausted. And our baby is a horrible sleeper and occasionally I ask him for help during the night and last night he reminded me why I hate doing that... I woke him up around 2am to help settle her because I had been trying for an hour and I was just so exhausted.. I hadn't slept until midnight because of sciatica pain. So he took her, she fell asleep and he decided to just not go back to sleep at all after that.. so that means I can't ask for anything tonight because he'll be exhausted. I just hate it so much when he does this... I ask for something small and he just makes it into a massive massive thing and I just don't dare ask again because asking for help is hard for me as it is I know I'm so blessed to have someone who is involved and blabla since the bar is in hell for men but I'm just so angry and want to shout my lungs out

Show your support

My other half was like this in the night

But do you know what sorts that out…

Actual exhaustion

Keep asking him for help!! And explain you’re happy to remind him for the next week. If he’s working a 9-5, so are you. Then, when he’s home, that time should be split 50/50. Don’t back down (which I know we want to do because we don’t want baby to suffer), but the baby won’t suffer. He’s her dad, and he needs to learn what her needs are. My other half lacked confidence I think but now he’s just as capable as me and he knows how hard it is, which instantly helps the dynamic! Hope you get some sleep tonight lovely xx

Have you communicated this to him?

@Blythe I laughed out loud at "actual exhaustion" lool but you're probably right.. because I haven't slept through the night once since she was born and I regularly sneak out of the room with her in the morning so he can have a lie in 🙄 maybe you do have a point

@Nina yes, so many times.. I've begged him not to do it, I've told him I hate it and he starts telling me "it's nothing" and it all goes from one ear to the next

I think potentially you just need to put your foot down and either just tell him what to do without asking or just don’t do certain things and wait until he does them it sounds like you are tiptoing around his feelings too much and giving him too much power if he wants to stay up all night for absolutely no reason that’s his problem and it doesn’t excuse him from parenting the follow day. My husband used to get frustrated and stay up with the baby at stupid times of the night because he would get too stressed out trying to sooth her back to sleep i felt bad but it was annoying and eventually I just didn’t thank him and didn’t give him any break afterwards and he hasn’t done it again now we work together to settle her when she’s fussing

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