really struggling, just want to reach out

I just want to reach out and see if anyone is in a similar situation as I am, I don't have many people i am able to talk to, sadly. since having a second bub, which was an unplanned pregnancy, my stress and anxiety, and depression have been getting worse. I had a little bit of pnd with my first, but it went past quite quickly, more the baby blues. since then, I have moved interstate and found out I was pregnant again very quickly. my husband is really good to me and helps me find my ground, but I can't help but feel so helpless as a mother. since becoming a mum, I've found it's really all I want to do. now my first is going through some toddler tantrums , sleep regressions, and I feel so un loved from him that it's breaking my heart. he can't talk yet, but I really feel like if he could, he would say, "I hate you mumny". I try all i can to calm him during tantrums. If he's hurt or wants some attention, I try my best to give it to him. and he was such a good sleeper until recently too. it seems he's scared to stay in his cot. I'm in the process of changing to a toddler bed, but it's come down to me taking him out of his cot and trying to get him to settle to sleep next to me. which he won't. he still screams. and wakes up my youngest as well. I think last night I had a grand total of 2 hours of sleep. He slept maybe 4. I can't help but feel intense hatred for myself because I stuffed up somewhere for him to hate me and not want my comfort. husband says I'm overreacting, but on such little sleep, it'll send anyone a little crazy. I feel so unwanted I want to run away, but I hate the thought of being away from my babies.