Mum guilt

I find myself constantly wishing my daughter was older, purely for the communication aspect as I find it so tough and I feel like a monster for it. I’m always told “enjoy these years they go so fast” but I struggle to find the joy most days. Of course I love my daughter beyond measure there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and don’t get me wrong we have lovely moments but that’s what they are, moments. Between teething, poorliness, refusing to eat most of the food she’s offered, poor sleep/early mornings, its difficult to find what everyone else’s seems to have and enjoy this time. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the next illness they are never ending and spend my life trying to be everything for everyone, a good mother, a good wife, a good employee, a good friend, maintain healthy relationships with everyone, help out at my sons school, keep the house clean and tidy etc which I know is the same for everyone but it’s hard spinning all the plates. My life revolves around naps and one bad nap/night sleeps usually spirals and turns into a bad day, then poorliness and so the cycle continues. I’m terrified how feeling this way will effect my daughter or our relationship but I can’t shake it. I often find myself saying to myself “18 more months and it’ll be easier” and I hate myself for thinking like that. I’m not looking for advise really just a vent, i feel very alone in this and too embarrassed to say it out loud.

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You're definitely not alone ❤️ I've had all these same thoughts. It can be really tough sometimes, and feel like its never-ending

Me too almost everyday. I ask myself if I’m not good enough, if my daughter is too difficult, when I am going to start enjoying motherhood more and not just feel like I am surviving. It’s really tough and most people don’t talk about it. You’re not alone!

Thank you so much, it’s so tough especially when all you see is perfection and think “what’s wrong with me” and wonder if you’re doing it wrong. I really appreciate you both being so honest. Laila you worded it perfect, it’s definitely survival at the moment. My son is 4 and whilst that comes with new challenges, as communication is possible it makes it easier in so many ways.

I feel exactly the same!

I feel exactly the same but almost knew I would feel this way because I know it’s so nice once you can start doing more with them. It’s a difficult age, they’re moving but not really doing anything. Just screaming and eating everything. Try not to worry too much about what’s the right/wrong way to think. Everyone is different. Some enjoy baby stage, some enjoy teenage years. I’m sure parents don’t feel bad saying omg my teenage daughter is doing my head in. It’s a fact of life that kids test our patience. It’s what they do 😄 Is there anything you can focus on to keep your thoughts away from your daughter maybe? Because we probably are all guilty of spending so much time worrying about them it sounds like it’s a bit much for you. Maybe you need to look at a night to yourself, go back to work, or find something for you…. They don’t sleep and that’s hard but they eventually will. Plus people only say enjoy the stage whilst it comes because weve alll had the same thought 😀

I totally understand that, I felt that way when she was a baby. I wish I enjoyed babies more! Everyone Is different don't feel bad for not loving every stage.

I think like this all the time! I think it's elevated with second or subsequent kids because you really do know it gets easier. I'm forever wish my June twins were as old as their sister.

I feel the same. Yesterday we had a visit. It was a friend of mine with her 7 year old daughter. I said wow, how adorable the girl is, how easy the age is! How can you like a whining, grumpy and clingy baby like my 17 month old daughter? And the bad nights, meal refusal, tantrums, how can you enjoy them? We are drained and stressed all the time, so it's ok to reckon our baby's age as a big challenge. We should not blame ourselves for this thought or whatever. You should not blame yourself either.

I’m sorry to see so many people finding it tough too but it’s reassuring that I’m not an awful mother or alone in my thinking. Really good points made here and they’ve made me think differently. Give me a 3/4 year old no problem, young toddlers are tough.

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