Need to vent

So maybe I am being sensitive. My daughter recently just got prescribed formula for CMPA. Prior to this my life was hell. My poor girl cried all the time and not just crying, screams of pain. During this time no doctor or health professional was listening, my family were all saying it's just colic but no one would have her so I could get some rest. My daughter got admitted to hospital at 28 days old with meningitis. Thanks to all of this I got PND and my partner decided he no longer could cope with how difficult I was being and walked out on us 🙃 SO naturally my girl is all for me. She clings to me and definitely has anxiety when I leave the room even. She wants me at all times. I think as I was literally her only source of comfort because no body else even tried to help. Well now she's happier and more content, just how clingy she is has become more apparent as she pretty much only cries for me. Suddenly, everyone wants to have her lol... And I get it, nobody knew what to do beforehand... It was difficult. But now we are through it she just wants me. Was at my mums earlier and my daughter got upset everytime I put her in someone else's arms. I felt my mum almost tutting? Saying it'll be a problem if she's like that when I go back to work etc. And I see her point, but it isn't mine or my baby's fault. She only had me. And nobody did anything to get me through it. Not one single night for the last 10 weeks since my partner walked out did someone stay with me. Or have her for any more than an hour or so... Usually when she was fed, winded and asleep mind you! It's just really miffed me. She's commented on the fact I co-sleep and breast fed too... That it has made her attachment so much worse. And I'd normally bite back that of course she's attatched but given the circumstances I've faced alone... I'm angry that she's even saying those things to me. Anyone had anything similar? I want the support but even now I feel like it comes cloaked in judgement 🙄

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I am sorry you're hoing through this. Our LO also has prescribed milk and I know what you've been through with cry screams of pain etc. My mum told me it's My fault she would cried when not being on me and this nonsense which I felt was so unfair because I did not want to leave our daughter crying when in pain. She is a whole new baby now thqt she no longer suffers from pain and is less clingy too! Perhaps your little one needs a bit more time to adjust, you can try to lay her down and talk to het/comfort without lifting that worked for us

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this, but it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job as a mum! You should be so proud of yourself for getting through all of this without the support! I know it’s easier said than done but don’t let other people’s comments bother you. X

Your LO definitely knows who is around and wants to care for her versus who doesn’t. They are so smart and can pick up on that instantly. If you want your baby to have a relationship with your family members, then you need to tell them to step up. Demand that they visit, and then tell them you need them to play with baby while you take a small break. But if I were in your situation I might be too angry to even want my baby to have a relationship with them.

Honestly got a little teary reading your comments. Thankyou ladies. It's been so incredibly difficult and I did whatever I could to ease and comfort my daughter as best I could. I think I just needed that validation rather than the fact she's so dependent on me being criticised. So thankyou so much for that. She's only been comfortable for about a week so I agree with you Tereza she probably just needs a little more time to adjust. She's going down for naps now! Would only contact nap before so, things are improving! I'm terms of family, even her dad... I've tried so hard to understand that for them it was too much but it was too much for me too. So never lashed out at them for lack of support. It nearly broke me at points in all honesty. So any criticism now we are doing better just makes me angry... Almost like how dare you lol. So grateful for a platform like this. It's been such a comfort to me. Thankyou all again ladies xxx

This is her this evening. Those awful dark long nights alone listening to nothing but her pain are starting to feel like just an awful nightmare. So what if she just wants me a little longer, it makes sense when I'm all she's had!

Blimey it sounds like you're having a rough old time. My MIL often comments about me breastfeeding and sometimes cosleeping "you're creating a rod for your own back" "you'll never have your own space" I'm now back to work (my baby is 8 months old, sorry for commenting in this group!! It just popped up on my feed) and my baby is absolutely fine with her and with my mum too. Breastfeeding and cosleeping do not make your baby's attachment "worse" - they make their attachment more secure, and you absolutely shouldn't be judged for it. I'm sorry you're having a tough time, try to let the judgy comments go over your head and accept the support when you need it xx

Our 14 week old son has just been prescribed milk for cmpa also. I totally get the screaming in pain, and I also had brought up the question of cmpa for the last month and a half and was given carobel and omeprazole for reflux - no surprise it didn't work. 1 day of nutramigen, and he is a different child. He also has attachment issues, and that is without co-sleeping. I have had all the comments about pandering to him too much and creating a rod for my own back, bearing in mind this is my 5th child, i just ignored it. I'm sorry to hear your relationship broke down also, but I agree with the above and take the support when you can. Rest and take some time.e for you x

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