MIL taking care of baby
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Nope!
Nope and I wouldn't let her either if you think he's parenting isn't good then your baby wouldn't be safe
Her*
Nope
Not wrong at all. Whoever you choose to watch your baby is going to have a HUGE influence on their life, so be comfortable with your decision and choose wisely. Good luck 😊
Wants to be paid, pffttt. No thanks!
@Brielle true she's the grandmother she should look after her grandchildren for free, I have a sister in the same situation and the grandmother looks after her for free
1. Not wrong at all 2. Why bother if she expects to be paid anyway… it’s not worth the risk of whatever damage she could do because she isn’t even helping offset the cost of childcare. Find a nanny who is qualified and pay them!
Nope
Nope
Perhaps your MIL needs some financial help in terms of getting the baby's milk, diapers, etc. But if you're going to supply EVERYTHING to her, then I guess u don't need to pay. Perhaps give her some pocket money/allowance once a while as a token of gratitude for helping take care. Discuss with her first and see what's the real reason she wants to be paid. Leaving your baby into someone's else's hand is going to be tough, especially with a stranger. There are a lot of abuse cases with babysitters or at daycare thesedays. Usually, we trust immediate family members. However, if you feel more comfortable trusting other people to take care of your baby, then go ahead with it. Use your mother's instinct to help you get someone to take care of your baby. 🌹 For me: I supplied EVERYTHING to my MIL. I trusted her 100% to care for my baby while I'm away at work. I work from 6am-4pm. My MIL let's me rest for 1.5hrs before passing the baby back to me. I send my baby to her place and pick baby at the end of the day.
I am strongly against her taking care of my baby because my partner has issues due to the way that he was raised and it affects our relationship because he projects. She also didn’t take care of her daughter for the first 7 years of her life due to postpartum and i am trying my best not to hold that against her because postpartum can happen to everyone but i am not willing to take any chances. I also don’t believe in grandparents expecting money! I will pay you out of gratitude. My mom would never expect anything from me….. Plus, i just prefer her from a distance——- away from me and my family. I just don’t how to go about this with my partner. I know it will hurt him. Thank you everyone for your advice. You guys are making me feel less of a horrible person for my decision.
At the end of the day, you’re the mum, it’s your decision. If you’re not going to be happy and comfortable while you’re away from baby you won’t concentrate on work and you’ll just be miserable and stressed. It’s not fair to put you through that. Also be kind to yourself, it takes 2 years for hormones to completely settle after a pregnancy. Personally i would be explaining all of that to my partner and saying you need to come up with an alternative that will make you comfortable. Good luck
No
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Say no. If she couldn’t do it with her own kids don’t let yours be the test trial for her to redeem herself! Sounds like she just wants to babysit for the payment which is weird because why do you need to be paid just to watch your grandchild that you are offering to watch to begin with?!
While I wouldn’t expect childcare from family for free (it’s different if it’s babysitting) I would expect a certain standard if she is being paid. I assume it wouldn’t be minimum wage anyway and would obviously provide the things baby would need. It doesn’t sound like this would be a long term permanent option anyway. I don’t think she realises how tiring and what a commitment this is. Has she looked after your baby at all by herself?
As far as I am concerned: It isn’t about expecting free childcare. It’s about expecting *quality* care. If you’re going to pay someone to care for your child - you shouldn’t ALSO have to WORRY about the trauma(s) they may be causing. Which clearly you would have to with your MIL.
No.