Kissing the baby.. need to vent!

My husband and I have talked at lengths about the rule that no one kisses the baby on the face, hands or feet until he is a bit older. I set expectations with my family and they have been following it well. The other day, his parents came over and both of them kissed the baby. I didn’t make a scene (it was the top of the head so wasn’t as concerned, took him for a change and wiped him with a cloth) and when they left told my husband that I’d like him to remind them of the boundary (via text was fine as not to cause a big scene). He agreed. Fast forward to today, we are seeing them again and I asked if he reminded them yet as I would be if he didn’t. He is now telling me he never told them in the first place of this boundary (here is me thinking my MIL and FIL are both purposely crossing our boundaries) He is now claiming that he had no idea that this was a boundary or why and just thought it was a personal choice against my family… I feel so gaslit as he is pulling the “I have no memory of this conversation, I know you told your parents but we never talked about mine…”. I can’t avoid this interaction today as it is a funeral so I can’t really avoid it and we are picking them up on the way. I plan to sit in the back beside baby for extra protection and baby wear. I’m so irritated 😣

Show your support

Yeah. He should've accepted the boundary and shared it with them. Definitely something to take seriously.

That’s so annoying!!! Maybe look up some statistics about flu, cold, rsv to share with him and the risks of kissing the baby so he understands better and is more willing to tell them the boundary. If he still doesn’t agree, maybe you can calmly & respectfully explain the boundary & why to your MIL & FIL so that you can still stand firm in your boundary without your husbands support

Id be fuming! After the first interaction he agreed to remind them, and then later went back on it. He's lied, whether it's because he's too scared to have the conversation with his parents or not, he should have been straight up with you about it. 😬 It's going to make it very hard to enforce if you're not on the same page. Id drop him in it and tell your in laws that your partner had told you he'd already passed this on but you've recently discovered he hasn't! You've given the same guidance to your family... Then give info. Hope you're ok, I'm not surprised you feel gaslit 😬 xx

You need to sit all three of them down and show them pictures of what babies with HSV-1 look like. Make sure they understand that HSV-1 (the virus that causes cold sores) can be DEADLY to young babies. You can spread it without an active outbreak and even if you've never had an outbreak. Then, of course, there's also the flu and RSV...both of which are also very dangerous to babies. There are plenty of ways to show affection to a baby without kissing them. Anyone who insists on kissing is not concerned with showing their affection, they are concerned with being in control and need to be reminded that they are NOT in control, because it's not their baby.

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