Toddler tantrums

Hi all, posting here as we all have similar aged little ones and personally too embarrased and mortified to speak to friends / family. Me and my toddler have had the day from absolute hell (this happens regularly). She seems to have major melt downs over the slightest of things (me not doing something right or the way she wants, or the wrong song coming on Alexa) and it ruins the whole day once she is in that mood. This afternoon got so bad that I locked myself in the downstairs toilet away from her for 10 minutes because I literally couldn’t be in the same room as her and remain calm. Just looking for some coping strategies that keep us both safe as she is pushing me to breaking point. I ended up just sitting on the floor and crying with her earlier and I don’t want her to see me like that as I don’t think it will help long term. Should probably mention that I am 38 weeks pregnant so hormones are high, but I just cannot cope any longer. Thanks in advance xx

Show your support

I’m in the same situation right now with my son and also 38 weeks pregnant trying to survive 🙃

@Sharifa sending love it is DIFFICULT xx

Likewise hun xx

Does it help to verbalise what you can see she wanted and how it made her feel when it didn't happen e.g. are you sad because the wrong song came on? I'm sorry you feel sad about it, what can I do to help? Does she have other routines in the day that are quite rigid and predictable? Does she spend time with other caregivers? So you have a break? I do think it's very important to tell your friends and family how hard it's getting, you're about to have another one and you will need them to help.

@Cari yes have tried all that, nothing really seems to help as that just seems to wind her up even more 🤦🏻‍♀️ yes she sees lots of family, they have her two days out of the week and also at nursery another two days. Routines she has, flexible routines etc. I have spoke to my husband about it but still struggling. I just want to control her behaviour and tantrums really, I know they’re developmentally normal but they are far more frequent and go on far longer than most kids I know her age x

With the tantrums I try a few things: - verbalise what I think the issue is - offer comfort or a hug - just ignore it and pretend I’m playing with something else until it stops and he comes to play with me - never change the boundary based on the tantrum

Maybe trying to control the behaviour is fuelling the fire? They are so desperate for control. Maybe increase the amount of choices she can make in the day e.g. breakfast options, story options at bedtime, choice of which playground to go to, which t-shirt to wear etc etc and when a tantrum does happen, as said, just carrying on with something else and wait for her to come to you when ready. I've noticed my May 22 bub is in the midst of a leap, I didn't twig until this week when he started getting clingy with his nursery teacher as well as me, something has not been right for 5 weeks now. When I googled it some suggestions include increasing role play and pretend play to address their growing needs for social interactions, figuring out social rules, challenging their increased language skills. Can you try more of that with her?

@Cari I will definitely give this a go thank you!!! I completely forgot about leaps etc once the baby stage had passed and it definitely could be some sort of developmental shift xx

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌