Update: Am I wrong? (Adult gift request)

You're not overreacting. I'd struggle to stay friends with someone who made demands like that

Honestly, ew

Do you think it's her or do you think it's the boyfriend? The fact that he has even sent that message 🤢 I wouldn't get anything out of principle now

I wouldn’t go

That is so weird..😅 like who expects anything and then to send out a “reminder” text to get her something. Like huh??

Yeah . . No. She’s an adult, no one has to do anything extra outside of showing up for her party / birthday .. that alone should be enough but to ask such things is nuts haha.

Don’t go. It’s so pushy that he would remind you that it’s black Friday so..”go out and buy something for my girlfriend”. Also, my CHILDREN are 3 and 7 and they don’t open gifts in front of people. We do it after the party. Seems weird to for a grown woman to be doing this. I honestly think the only time it’s acceptable to casually open gifts in front of your guests is a baby shower and maybe a bridal shower. what other events for grown adults makes guests sit around as the individual unwraps gifts??? I can’t think of many.

I don’t have many close friends, but I haven’t bought a friend a birthday gift in a very long time. Christmas gift, yes but not birthday. I’d find it weird that a grown adult wants to open gifts in front of everyone at the party, unless it was a shower. I also think it’s odd they want you to text what you’re getting and that they included gifts on the invite. Depending on how close this friend is I might be questioning the friendship or distance myself a bit. Especially if other behaviors are similar

Yeah I wouldn’t be going.

This sounds like something that'll turn into "oh you didn't bring me this really expensive item, we aren't friends" sorta thing

It’s a no from me.

I wouldn’t even say that to my family members like wtf

I would be completely turned off from the idea of going. My attitude would be so stank they wouldn’t want me to be there anyway. That’s so tacky.

I wouldn’t reply, buy a gift, or show up.

I’m never going. Drop me all the way out.

Yeah I'd just not go lol so cringe

I wouldn’t be going to the party

Who do they think they are??? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

This would honestly put me off going 😫

What kind of grown adult asks for gifts 😂 unless someone asked them first what they want. But the message they sent would make me so annoyed. I would’ve made up an excuse to not go

I wouldn’t go

Sounds broke and thirsty. Sounds like the same person to pin money on her shirt for her birthday. I think that even has an age limit to 10 years old. Honestly, I wouldn’t go. Just sounds like an opportunistic fake friend.

It seems like you want to go. How close friends are you with her? How long have you known her? Did she do this last year for her birthday?

I mean, how is what they’re doing any different than a registry? Tbh it’s not tacky to ask for specific gifts. If it’s not within your budget let them know. If its a requirement for attendance then don’t go. What this person is doing is just different not wrong or tacky. It’s similar to a pay per plate wedding or event. Same concept. In my opinion

I’d stay my ass at home🤷🏾‍♀️

I wouldn't say anything apart from to text him back to say you're not coming 🤣

I wouldn’t be attending. This is for a grown adult birthday? Nah, thats too much and times are hard for folks so it’s just very unthoughtful. You can send a nice message or a gift card but this is sounding too forced.

I really want to know, is she asking for expensive gifts? Also, depending on how comfortable you feel, I’d call the friend and explain I can’t buy her the gift and see how she reacts to that. If she’s a genuine friend she’d tell you not to worry about. Otherwise she’d make you feel bad etc. but if you don’t feel comfortable the. You can just make up a reason you can’t make it

I think in general a list of gift ideas isn’t terrible. However reminding people to get the gift AND opening them in front of people my social anxiety COULD ABSOLUTELY NEVER. That’s my nightmare. Weird and probably wouldn’t go.

@Savannah are you actually going?? Are any of your friends going? What do they think of it all? I think I would go just to see what a shit show it would be 😂 1. The fact that she sent the invite so late, in December no less, when pretty much everyone is busy and expects you to attend is mad 2. The entitlement to include a gift wish list as an adult is hilarious 3. Saying that you have to bring your own alcohol to the party is diabolical 4. The boyfriend text reminding you all that it’s Black Friday and to buy her something is pure jokes 😄 5. Wanting to open gifts in front of everyone like she’s some kind of royalty has me dying, I have visions of her summoning the peasants one by one as she gives a thumbs up or down whether she is happy with the gift and the losers get kicked out of the party 🤣🤣🤣

That whole situation is rude af. I would get a bottle of wine for her... that's it. That would be tacky if they got mad

I’m just confused cause why even invite someone to your party if they have no idea what you would like as a gift? And the gift reminder is 🤮 to me that is the easy way of saying “don’t come unless you’re getting her a gift”. Which is messed up like who even really buys gifts anymore??? I’ll buy you dinner lol. As for opening gifts at the party I mean sure why not but it doesn’t have to and shouldn’t be all about the gifts.

Did your friend ever have a party when she was a child? It sounds like she is trying to do that. If she never had one I would understand and go along with it. But if it's a different reason I have no idea what I would do

It seems like the whole reason for the party is more for the gifts, not your attendance. I’d probably text back and see if it was a joke or not. How close are you?

For me, it would depend on how close we are. Like, I only have a few close friends, and I'd be getting them a gift anyway so this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. A friend I haven't seen or spoken to in a while might be a different story or my partners friend if they don't gift each other things. It's customary to bring a gift to a birthday party, though. Doesn't have to be big or expensive. This isn't an issue, but if you are uncomfortable and close to the birthday girl or her boyfriend, I'd just text and explain. The opening presents thing is slightly odd, though.