Gentle parenting turns back into your parents.

Definitely. Then i get guilty for yelling at my son. I say sorry but its been done 💔

@Dez same 😔

Why are your parents getting mad at YOUR children? Thats your job to feel a way toward your children. It’s not their job to tell them off or be mad at them. Grandparents are there to love and support. If it’s triggering you, you should say something to them. They need some boundaries put in place.

@Sera Kay ✨ bc i have parents in their late 70s its how they are raised and they don't understand what I'm doing. I allow my son to be free and feel his emotions. If he isn't hurting himself or others he is just being a kid. My mom doesn't like the whining and crying and she hated me as a child bc I was the same way. Iv told her and she doesn't care. But living situation are tough and we all do what we need to. I protect my son from her hate.

Are you living with them?

@Sera Kay ✨ yes

Ahh I see. Thats really tough. I was gonna say just distance yourself from her but seeing as you live together that’s not so easy. I do hope everything gets better for you though and well done for being the one to break the cycle. Depending on your kids age you could apologize and explain to them why you did that and they would start to understand that it’s not really you. That’s what I did/do with my daughter (11 now).

Being the first one to break the generational trauma is a lot of pressure. You don't want you child to ever feel like you did, but you never experienced what it was like to be patented inna way that made you feel understood and an equal part of the family and not, in my personal experience, a slave and object to be bossed around and showed off and bragged about in public but shamed for not being good enough behind closed doors and feel to scared to say your own parent is constant a liar and two faced to everyone closest to them, but my mom's a narcissist lamo. Even my partner, whose parents were social workers and was essentially gently patented since the early 2000's when he was born, still has issues not being frustrated or yelling sometimes. His parents weren't perfect and never yelled at them or made mistakes with their kids. All parents make mistakes like yelling, just make sure you explain after it that big feelings happen sometimes and outbursts are okay as long as you recognize it's okay and say sorry

If you’re comfortable I would reinforce with your parents your boundaries on how you choose to parent your babies. My father in law used to watch our son till we got into daycare and everyday he told me something new I was doing wrong or reminded me how I was spoiling my two month old. After daily reminders and providing information based on research, statistics, and informing him if I had to hear it one more time/my partner having conversations with him he would not have a relationship with our son he stopped. He’s older and had a brain bleed a few years ago so in part his memory got the best of him but I would remind myself daily that just because he parented one way does not mean what I’m doing is wrong.

@Sydney ya iv saos that my mom doesn't care. She will do what she wants and if there is no relationship she is fine with it. So no talking to her. I just need to get my kids out this house but times are tough aa a single mom. I need all the help even if my mom is hateful and not understand

I didn’t realize you were at home with them. I couldn’t imagine that. I don’t know where you live but have you looked into public assistance programs? There might be options so you can leave.

Same your not alone

@Sera Kay ✨ I literally do this i feel the need to apologize to him so he understands why it happened bc i was affected by something that triggered me it also teachs them its ok to have feelings and ur their safespace so they can talk to you about their feelings

Forgiveness opens new doors ✨ send love to her. Imagine her small little girl. Give her what she didn't know better. I did this small meditation. I try to be the person I need then. Perspective changed. Keep doing what you are doing. I'm proud of you 🤗 it is lonely. It is hard but you are doing this for the generation before you and after you. 😇 Believe in yourself dear ❤️🙏 good luck to hold healthy boundaries ☺️

Personally I would spend less time with your parents AND tell them you don’t yell at your kids since that only teaches them to yell.