On you or them?

My wife very much reached out to some people and I was like nope, don’t do that. It was also people who didn’t really care throughout pregnancy or haven’t really been active in her life so I couldn’t imagine them actually showing up for our child. And they haven’t. Most who were desperate to meet her still haven’t almost 8 months later 😂

Absolutely is on them to show interest and make the effort! With my first baby, during pregnancy I have been left completely aside by mostly all of my “friends” and after birth some of them were crazy about meet him and shown up just once after 9 months, my boy is 2 now and I am currently pregnant with my little girl, most of those people haven’t even asked me how I feel or how boy is doing… soooo if they are expecting a royal invitation, that’s not going to happen!!! It is important to be surrounded by people the actually care, and show interest without even asking, it is important for you and the baby!

Same for family members and everyone, of course!

After we had our baby, I let people know when I was ready for visitors. I think it’s common courtesy that you don’t ask a new mum for an invite and you wait to be asked

I wouldn't even announce on SM, just share with your closest ones. If they were that interested, then they would know roughly when you're due and ask themselves. This is what we did and it really showed who was with us and who wasn't.

I think it's a mix of both. I personally might check on you but I will not ask to visit because I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes so I wait to be invited unless it's been a few months since baby was born and I would be pretty confident you are okay with visitors now

I wouldn’t reach out. It was people around for my pregnancy that have no interest in my boys and vice versa. Or there’s people who were interested at first and now a year later have no care. I only really keep my MIL in the loop because I’m usually home with the boys and she expressed not wanting to bother me with calling all the time

@Manuela I relate to this so much. Thank you for reminding me of what the reality and truth is. Have they ever asked you why they werent invited or that they are waiting on you to say something?

@Annabel Hm, I thought about saying that too but in this case since I wont be directly announcing to them I wont really be able to say that. I think if they say congrats and ask if they can visit, I will then tell them when we are ready.

@Daija Yeah I decided I wont be reaching out. These are grown folk so if they want to see the baby they have to show interest. I dont need to be inviting them esp since this is #2 and they have shown zero effort in our first.