What would you do?

Okay so my man and I have been together over a decade. We are the oldest grandkids and have been together longer than the others. We have two children. He had two cousins get married back to back and one announced they’re pregnant following their wedding(they suddenly moved it up a year and we now know why lol). Well I don’t want to be the third ones married. We’ve been together significantly longer than any of them. I have a lot of feelings around this. I don’t think it’s fair to me but it is 100% my man’s fault for giving me excuses as to why this wedding idea wouldn’t work or why that wedding idea wouldn’t work. I’ve suggested everything from the court house to Vegas to a castle in Ireland! He’s shot down every idea. We’ve spent 4.5 years engaged at this point. And he’s just dragging it out even more. He knows I’ve always wanted to get married. Would I be wrong to tell him I no longer want to get married? I don’t know if I want to even be together at this point. I love this man and he is the father of my children but some of the stupid shit he does makes me question everything. I mean if he really loved me he would’ve married me by now. He’s never helped with kids bath time(ever). Takes the van so I’m stuck at home with the kids(he has a sports car but prefers the van “bc it drives smoother” yeah idk either), leaves every cabinet open, leaves the formula can open, can’t put his clothes in hamper, etc. I am at my wits end. I’ve had so many conversations about things and it gets me no where and changes nothing. Am I being crazy? Petty? Pathetic? Would I be wrong? Thoughts please?