I love my son so much it makes me sad and hurts at the thought of anything ever happening to him.. does this happen to anyone else?

I'm the same. We had a car crash this week and he was in the backseat while someone crashed into us from behind. My heart almost stopped...

Our baby boy had a choking incident at 7 weeks old (on milk, unbelievably) and had to be ambulanced into hospital. This is exactly how I’ve felt since he was born, but particularly since the hospital visit. He was absolutely fine, and now 18 weeks and doing great. But the fear that something could happen to him is truly something else.

@Susie oh no I’m so sorry that’s horrible!😭 hope you are both okay, I really don’t know how to kick the constant anxiety, feel like it’s been eating me up inside lately

@Chrissy I’m so sorry you had to go through that!! My son is almost 2 now but I remember the newborn stage up until about 6 months was the most terrifying, I literally just worried about him every second, the anxiety died down for ages but now it seems to be creeping back again😭 I want to just enjoy him but sometimes when I look at him I’m filled with love and fear at the same time

My little boy is 1 and I've been having the most vivid dreams that he is a grown man and wants nothing to do with me. This terrifies me! I don't know why I'm having these dreams but it's more often than I would like

@Tasha this is such a big fear of mine too 🥲 the minute I found out I was having a boy I started worrying he might not want to hang out with me when he’s grown up, ridiculous I know but it’s so hard to stop worrying about these things once you think them!!

This makes me sick! I feel the same! I don’t know why or if it’s because he’s my rainbow baby after a third trimester loss! My feelings are strong for him and I want to protect him at all cost. It makes me sad and angry if anytime shouts at him or if he cries because of other people giving him a row etc. I thought it was just me

I might be the odd ball out but this seems odd. I mean I fucking love my kids to death BUT…It doesn’t make me hurt or sad. I guess because at any moment shit can happen to ANYONE, but why live in that mindset. Why look at your children and have negative emotions drown you. Enjoy their love and presence. And if shit goes down—just do your very best in whatever situation you’re in. But don’t dwell on them being in unfavorable circumstances and hurting when looking at them.

Sometimes but it is not a constant feeling

This sounds like intrusive thoughts, which is part of anxiety

@S. annalese it’s not normally all the time, just lately when I’ve seen scary stuff in the news.. I’ve been really stressed with too much work as well, so I think that’s playing into it, and I have OCD so I can get obsessive thoughts which probably isn’t helping 😬😬

@Ella I do struggle with obsessive/intrusive thoughts from OCD, so that might actually be what’s causing it! Thanks for mentioning that I hadn’t really considered it to be intrusive thoughts til now 😅

@Natasha also have OCD and intrusive thoughts and I’m the same. Its awful but totally get and understand the older he’s getting the more anxiety I’m getting 🤣 even thinking about when he goes to school, who will watch him in the play ground, high school, when he has his own family and moved out how will i know what he’s doing or where he is 🤣🤣 makes me sick thinking about it 🫠

@Marion I really hate it because it’s taking away from enjoying my time with him😭 I think it’s actually started since around the time he started nursery a month and a half ago , I’m really struggling with the idea that he’s away from me and I can’t be next to him all the time like I used to be :((

@Natasha im the same. He’s only been at nursery a few weeks and it’s only for 2hrs, 2 days a week. He loves it and is happy but my mind just wants to know what he’s doing and if he’s having fun etc and I know he is as he doesn’t want to leave 🥲 but I want to be with him all the time even when i wanted a break. I’m the same my intrusive thoughts won’t let me enjoy anything and I think the worst and the worst of peoples intentions. It’s awful x

@Marion I’m actually sat here bawling hearing someone feels the same as me 😂😭 I’ve felt so alone in how I’m feeling as no one seems to understand why I don’t want to leave him when Im with him all day every day and get tired, need a break, but it’s just so hard to know he’s not in my care for some time and I have no idea what he’s doing there, if he’s having fun like you said ! x

@Natasha you can message me if you like as it would be nice to talk to someone who can relate without being judged or called crazy 🤣🤣 cos totally get it. I could go on and on haha x

Ugh yes I feel this way too often! 🥺

Every single day, multiple times a day. It’s so scary loving a person THIS much

@Myah never known a love like this before 🥺 I don’t even understand how it’s possible to love someone this much

@Natasha dear , I totally feel you...this is on my mind also and is hard to push this thoughts away...and yes, same as you when I see something on the news / TV when kids suffering it makes me really sad...this world we are living in unfortunately getting more cruel...😥😥

Yep. That’s being a parent

Me too, I just think about how easy it is for a life to be taken away. Like in my school, the grade 2 years older than me was 18 people in their graduating class and now 5 of them are dead before 30. It makes me want to have so many more babies and not "put all my eggs in one basket". I wish to have 6 kids like the old days

I can definitely relate. I have to keep my fearful thoughts from taking control and I do this with gratitude. The thought comes and I immediately just pour my heart and head into how thankful and absolutely blessed I am to have him in my life!!

I am a worrier too but I’m trying to learn how to live in the present and it’s super hard…I started therapy recently and sometimes when we go through trauma and have kids we get afraid for them and fear is perfectly healthy but when it’s taking over our minds it’s not good for us…do you have a faith or spirituality…As a Christian God tells us He does not give us a spirit of fear…the truth is we can’t control anything that happens in this life but we must trust that we will be fine and teach our kids the tools they need to survive and thrive…for me I teach my 4 yr old safety rules and also prayer over her and with her…when I get anxiety I call suicide hotline in which they have peer counselors to listen to you and provide support even though you may not be in a crisis at that time

@Natasha do you already have techniques to deal with Intrusive thoughts? They're unproductive so it's best to send them away if you catch yourself doing it

I think about the evil things I’d do to some one if they hurt him lol

It might help to take a break from social media and the news. Sometimes these things can stain your mind and have you focusing on the negatives rather than the positives in life and induce anxiety. We can’t change the circle of life but we can change what we focus our minds on. 💖

This! When he’s with me which is 99% of the time the thoughts aren’t too bad but he goes to 3k twice a week for 2 1/2 hours and I’m a nervous wreck the whole time and so many things run through my head 😩

There's a book I saw called overcoming parental anxiety about how to worry less and enjoy parenting more. Might be worth a look into

@Tiffany this is such a lovely response thank you🥰🥰

@Ella not really.. I’ve tried the exposure thing where you repeat the thoughts again and again until you get used to them but it works for a while and then they come back

@Elizabeth thank you I will give it a look😊

I love my daughter so so much and have cried just looking at her with how much love I feel. But happy tears. I generally don’t think about something bad happening. (I definitely feel sadness if I do). But any thoughts like that quickly come and go because nothing bad HAS happened. We’re here, happy, healthy and it just makes me feel grateful, glad and lucky. I can’t let a hypothetical future take over a happy and real now. I can definitely overthink things in other circumstances though so can imagine this would be overwhelming if you’re feeling this all the time. Maybe it would be good to talk to someone to get some strategies to help manage/ challenge those thoughts when they come along.

my son is 6 years old now and I felt so scared when he was younger and now I tell him about this world and The true colors of people that you can see . And I also help him realize that in order to live comfy you have to pay your bills and you have to know certain household necessities that need to be done that come with life. But also I do teach him that there's not many people out here that are going to like you because you're different from them and that's okay. Just be yourself and love yourself and who you are and the right people who love you will be there for you.

@Neisa Can I ask why you teach him that not many people will like him? I know not everyone likes everyone but the way you phrased it sounds a bit harsh for a child? I don’t know the circumstances but could ‘not understanding’ him maybe be a different way to frame it? I don’t think we have to sugarcoat everything but feel like that gets a similar point across in a gentler way?

@Sorrel because he needs to know the honest truth about people and it will be fake to you in front of your face and behind your back and who will be real to you behind your back and in front of your face. I'm not setting my son up for failure in this fucked up world

@Neisa ok, I see where you’re coming from but feel like that’s more understandable at an older age? I think it’s good to teach honesty and that not everyone is trustworthy etc. Or perhaps you could make it more about the other people? Rather than ‘not many people liking’ him specifically? Like - ‘some people aren’t very nice and don’t always tell the truth or might be unkind’ rather than making it about him. I just think it could make him feel he’s unlikeable (when others’ crappy behaviour is not his fault) if you see what I mean

@Sorrel yeah and I have to teach him this because of fact that I don't do lying or keeping secrets in less it's Christmas or birthday then u . And not just friends can be fake family can to and mind u he does have ADHD . And is on meds for it and so he feels different and I tell him there's others that have it

@Neisa I’m sorry but I agree and disagree with you. I understand you want to teach him that some people will not like him so this way in the future it doesn’t hurt him because you prepared him for those days but on another note I feel like walking into certain situations he’s going to have that in his mind and that’s going to shape him to kind of hold back.

I think the better way of approaching it is that not everyone has good intentions. And some people trick you by making it seem like they do

Yes, stranger danger is a misnomer . A very big one

So it's a good idea to teach your kids the word no. And that no is a complete sentence

Let them say no to you. But don't give it too much power

Consent and boundaries and keeping themselves safe is a better way of approaching it

Whether a person is 3, 13, or 23.... Yes there are people who wish to do them harm and it's most likely someone they already know

But there's definitely better approaches on helping kids keep themselves safe