MIL refuses to help watch child even if paid

So I need some advice. We have no childcare options for when I go back to work. We live with our MIL. My MIL is only a couple years until retirement and she makes less than me. We asked my MIL if she would help us watch our toddler 2 or 3 times a week while I’m at work and we would in return take over all over all bills, mortgage, groceries, car payment and give her spending money approx 1,200 a month for extra costs she said no and was making up excuses that isn’t enough money even though she is probably saving less now after her payments. Also this will have no affect on her retirement or anything. I understand that it’s her life and it’s her choice, but I am just baffled. Because if I was offered that I would have taken that. Anybody else feel like that? I get it she might want her independent life and work but she’s always complaining that she doesn’t like work and that she doesn’t get to spend enough time with her granddaughter. Confused af. (I made a poll above on this too).

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I wonder if it’s too much responsibility for her and so she doesn’t want to? Will you look into paying a childminder since you don’t mind paying?

Spending time with your granddaughter and being paid to watch her are quite different things. She might be feeling tired, my mum is exhausted after afew hours of looking after my lo who is darting all over the place.

You’re lucky you live with her and your child gets to have a relationship with her. It sounds like your MIL is setting some boundaries and they should be respected. Instead of trying to get her to be a babysitter, why not offer an evening or a day on the weekend for them to spend together? Her reasons are her business and no matter how confused you are, she doesn’t have to explain her boundaries to you. That being said, I’d bet a nanny would be a better option if you can offer that kind of compensation.

I wouldn’t watch someone else’s kid if they paid me either, that’s a heck of a responsibility and looking after a toddler isn’t always a breeze & I’d prefer (at that age) to be enjoying myself while I can. I can completely understand why she doesn’t want too. Maybe a nanny?

My mom loves my kids to death but made it clear from day one she wanted to be a “fun only” grandma. If you are responsible for watching kids all the time, you have to say no and teach them things and not give them 4 cookies. So she made sure we knew she didn’t want to be responsible for them like that so she could always give them whatever they wanted

She has absolutely rights to set boundaries however I would be feeling hurt too and it would change the way our relationship works.

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