I broke just now

It’s nothing to be ashamed of it sounds like you were really over stimulated hitting yourself can be your body’s way of self regulating obviously it’s not ideal because you don’t want to be hurting yourself but it’s pretty common even in children. I’d suggest listening to your body and identifying when you are getting to your breaking point and doing something to help regulate yourself whether it’s deep breathing or walking away. If your husband was present to tell you that you were hitting yourself why was he not helping with dinner or comforting your child? Sounds like you are doing your best please don’t hate yourself

Think I smack myself in the head on a daily basis 😬

I make all the meals. He was doing something else. I called and asked him to come downstairs as I wasn’t coping. By the time he came, it was like a zoo and I had just lost my mind.

We’ve all been there incognito your baby is fed and happy, maybe see this as a sign to look after yourself and pay attention to what your body needs, it’s ok to get upset, it’s ok to take a break

I slam door and chuck plates in the sink. Is it mature, no. Is it setting a good example, no. Is it human - yes. Sometimes we get frustrated and overstimulated.

It's not an ideal coping mechanism but self harm is a form of coping. I know from experience. It doesn't have to be extreme and any form of hurt or limitation/control falls under it so pretty much everyone has had a taste of it at some point. What you're having to juggle is a lot and as a first time mum u just have to go with what u feel cos we have no experience but we learn from everything. Don't be hard on urself, I'm sure u still managed to get it all done and glad for it. Focus on that part. You're a great mum cos ure trying your best!

Did your husband ask how he can help you??! How can you make preparing meals easier? Meal prep? Crock pot?? Husband makes a meal or two?

I like to stick ear plugs in when I’m overstimulated. I keep them on a safety cord around my neck.

Thank you for all the lovely replies. My husband needs a lot of help and pointers to ever know what to do. He can’t intuitively see what to do, I have to always ask and direct. Which feels an extra burden on my shoulders. I’ve work for his company since our lo was 2 months. I’m the main domestic lead at home too. I’m just burnt out and that small frustration yesterday tipped me over the edge. I could hardly speak or move for the rest of the day. It felt like a breakdown.