To tell employer or not?

I am about to start my first cycle of IVF in the next month or so and am really struggling with whether I tell my employer or not. My manager (who is very senior in the business) is good manager and I am sure it would be received well. My hesitation comes from not wanting everyone to know my business, to put it crassley I wouldn't be telling him that I'm having sex with my boyfriend this week to try to conceive, so part of me wants to keep this for me. I also don't want to have to keep people "in the loop" especially if things don't go well. I'm quite a private person. On the other hand I worry about how I'm going to navigate the appointments for egg retrieval and transfer. My job is not manual and I can WFH but I don't know how I will explain to people at short notice that I'm going to be out for a few days a couple of times over the space of a few weeks without them asking questions. Would love to hear other people's thoughts on this.

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When I went through it, I told my manager and he was very supportive. At the time my employer didn't have a specific policy for fertility treatments, but I got in touch with HR to know more. For me it was helpful that my manager knew and he didn't share it with anyone else. I think it depends on your work place.

I think it’s necessary to tell your manager as you will need quite a few appointments for fertility treatment. Your manager will surely keep it private? Most workplaces have a policy for fertility treatment and time off for that

I agree with everyone above. I too was like you and still am a private person and don’t like people knowing my business, so I initially didn’t tell my manager and used to use my annual leave to take time off for appointments. But I kept having failed rounds and it all got too much. I ended up then telling my line manager who was very supportive and even told me they class ivf appointments the same as they would maternity so it would be paid leave, so I was actually using my annual leave unnecessarily all that time. They have to keep it confidential anyway so I would think about telling them as you never know how your treatments will go. I ended up going off sick after I had a few failed rounds and a loss, and they were more supportive as they knew what had been happening.

I’ve just started my first ivf treatment and I’ve told my manager and boss. Basically I did it incase I need to take time off work cause I’m sick or if my appointments clash with my shifts. I’ve always been very open and honest with people at my work that’s just how I am if I’m honest it just made me feel better they I wasn’t trying to make up stories to cover up going to hospital or feeling unwell cause of the medication. It did take a weight off my shoulders

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this. I have just told my boss about it in my 1:1 and he was super supportive and whilst they don't have a fertility policy at my work he has said I can just take the time as I need it.

Glad it went ok with your boss, something you don't need to stress and worry about now ❤️

Yes definitely, I knew he would be supportive so dont know why I was nervous about it haha.

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