Should I ask for a different HV?

I've had my HV since before I gave birth and I'm getting extra appointments due to a history of mental health issues. At first I thought I'd really appreciate the support but the person they send is not all that ... competent... her advice is outdated and goes against NHS guidance (telling me to put things in baby's cot, telling me to give her a Carrot at 3 months old, telling me to keep her awake during the day so she'll sleep better at night, telling me not to (breast) feed her when she wants to so she "learns", etc. The other day we had a health scare and I asked her if we needed so seek medical advice. She told me no. When she came by the other day, she asked for an update and asked why we hadn't got her checked out because of it. Whenever I ask her something (or if my husband asks her something) she gives me a completely unrelated answer. Once, she proudly told us we could get all our answers from YouTube, as if she'd just discovered it. She's also never on time. She can be 2hrs early or late without letting me know and without apology. I try timing baby's awake windows as much as possible for when she comes by, but it's just impossible that way. My baby cries a lot and I asked her for help but she's just dismissed it as teething. The other day, she was an hour early but at that point I had had to rock my screaming baby for an hour till she fell asleep exhausted. The HV ringing the doorbell promptly woke her up and of course she started crying again. My husband had to ask her to leave and her only concern was how long it took to find parking. Another time she was an hour late. I tried keeping baby awake a bit longer, so she could weigh baby etc. Baby of course started crying due to tiredness and she asked me if I wanted her to stay. (What for? To watch me and baby have a meltdown while you shout outdated advice in my direction?) I honestly just wanted her to get out, and I blamed her for baby crying. If she had been on time, it would have been completely different. That's also when she told me to keep her awake during the day. I just find her useless at best, but also a bit dangerous with her outdated advice. She doesn't get along with her boss, so I don't really want to complain. But I do feel it's just always a negative experience instead of supportive. I also heard HVs just tend to be a bit useless and judgemental so not sure if I might end up with someone worse

Show your support

Ask for someone else, don't be put off by your current experience, there are some great HVs out there... unfortunately it's like alot of jobs/careers some people just shouldn't be in that profession and if she is doing all your saying it needs addressing by her management as others wil be getting the same and that's not ok, should be held accountable

I would absolutely ask for someone else. My HV has been absolutely amazing and so understanding both me and my partner love her. I think given some of the advice your HV has tried to give you is outright dangerous that she also needs reporting tbh.

Definitely ask for someone else - ours has been fantastic, very supportive in a not pushy kind of way at all

Honestly I could have written this about a previous HV we saw. She was coming up to retirement and it definitely felt like she should have already. She was barely with the conversation half the time, repeated herself at every appointment, constantly late, spoke about her own family most the time, told me to google a lot of stuff, didn’t believe my daughter had anything wrong with her even though she was in out of hours constantly and urgent care (she had a severe milk allergy). Just really incompetent and unhelpful. When I had my second baby I had a different HV and she was better but I still felt like it was just a tick in the box exercise seeing her. I’d definitely make a complaint though and request to see someone else x

I would ask for another health visitor. And I would also raise concerns about this one. While you know she’s giving you incorrect advice, other people may not and actually follow it.

Carrots at 3 months old is wild! Definitely ask for someone else, if you don’t get on with the next one you can ask to be discharged.

@Rhonda yeah, that's so true. Hadn't thought about that

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’d complain also, we are vulnerable in our postpartum stage that we don’t need this additional stress x

I can’t believe what am reading, she definitely can’t do her job properly by the sounds of it! She’s going against safe sleeping and as far as breastfeeding goes you feed your baby on demand! She clearly doesn’t have your child’s best interests at heart and sounds like she either needs to improve or get another job. I would definitely take this further they are meant to be there for support and guidance not to give you outdated and information.

I would ask for someone else and put a complaint in. As others have said, some people might take her incorrect advice and something awful happen. I would also report her to the NMC

Kindly request for a different one .There's always others willing to help and advice you where need be ...personally I don't suffer in silence cause there's no need going for appts you're not happy with ...I have had to request for a different one as the one I normally see is quite dismissive and relates everything to my weight 😔 😟. So annoying!

@LILLIAN wtf, that's so uncalled for! Glad you asked for someone else!

Many HV are a bit rubbish in my experience (sorry). I wouldn’t rely on them.

@Hollie yeah I kinda agree unfortunately

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