Toddler has started pulling her hair out.

Ever since I stopped breastfeeding my little girl at 20 months she has been using destructive measures to self soothe. She bites her nails and this past couple of weeks has been pulling her own hair out when going to sleep or waking up and sometimes in the car. She doesn't want to be cuddled or rocked to sleep and knows that she is doing it. It's got to the point that I sit awake from 4.30 watching the monitor so that I can get her up the second she wakes. We have found balls of it in her cot. My heart is broken, I feel like the worst mum in the world for stopping breastfeeding and I really don't know how to get her to stop. I've tried reacting to it by saying no darling we don't pull our hair ouch to ignoring it (as much as I can). I'm pregnant due in April and I really want this to stop. I hear it's related to anxiety and she is generally quite timid and is scared of a lot of random things at the moment, toys that move on their own and she's always been petrified of the sound of sellotape. I don't know what to do. My hv is useless and judgemental so I really don't want to ask their advice. Feeling really down about it.

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This sounds so hard for you! This isn't something you have caused by stopping breastfeeding, and your response is very calm and helpful. I would ignore it as you don't want to bring attention to it for her. There is something called trich which some children have where they pull hair out and it can be short or long term. Not saying your girl has this at all, but I'm aware that it's a condition. I've heard parents say that they've been able to help them stop by finding sensory stimulation that they are craving... is there something that she really likes the feel of that you could encourage? Especially for the moments you can't be with her (I'm the car, in bed etc). I've seen a child like a hairbrush/Comb for example. Hopefully this is just a phase for her 🤞🤞🤞 x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know a few mums that have had the same thing and it’s generally been a stress/anxious thing. It’ll be a big change for her and just how she’s reacting to it. I’d try not saying no don’t do that, as toddlers don’t tend to hear the negative and just the action. I’d try distracting, having a toy or teddy handy! It’s hard cause it doesn’t always just stop even with those things. Could you try getting a cheap wig, I know that sounds weird but my friends wee boy has an obsession with hair and is pulling/playing with hers all the time so she got him a wig and he uses that instead so saves her hair, might work for your wee girl too 🤞🏼 hopefully passes soon x

My daughter pulls at her hair and she wasn’t breastfed for long so it’s nothing you’ve done! My daughter does it to soothe and I’ve tried everything. She has such short hair on one side. She is growing out of it I think as she doesn’t do it as much now. I wish I had some advice for you but just know it’s nothing you’ve done x

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