Reaction to my pregnancy news

My sister is 37, single, and doesn’t have kids, so I had a feeling my second pregnancy might be a sensitive subject for her. (During my first pregnancy, she mostly ignored the bump photos I sent – there were only two or three in total over the nine months.) This time, I kept the announcement very low-key to give her space to process it. I sent her a photo of my first son with the caption, “The proud big brother-to-be.” It took her over a day to respond, and her reply was just a single 👀 emoji – no congratulations, no words. (I don’t even have a clue what kind of feeling this emoji intended to convey..) Since then, she’s been sending me photos every couple of days – landscapes, her dance class, random things from her life – but she hasn’t asked me anything about the pregnancy or tried to acknowledge the news. I get the sense she wants to stay in touch but is avoiding the topic of the baby entirely. How would you feel, and how would you respond in my shoes? For me, it feels unfair to act like the baby growing in my bump doesn’t exist just to maintain communication with my sister (even if it’s hard for her). I’ve already stopped responding to the last 4–5 pictures she sent because I just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with this while pregnant. How would you react?
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

I was your sister. Every time someone announced to me they were pregnant it killed me and I felt so awkward as they knew I was trying to. (Took me 5 years) she clearly wants a baby very badly and whatever her situation I think the fact she is trying hard to keep communication is great but it’s obviously hurting her as she dreams of becoming a mum. I would go easy! It’s such complicated feelings. Hopefully one day she has a baby of her own and she won’t have to feel that way any longer.

@Rosie Thank you so much for your kind response! It’s really helping me shift my perspective, even though I’m still struggling to find a way to handle this situation in a way that feels comfortable for me.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My little sister is married and was preggo with her second right before I was engaged. I’ll say this though, I was in shock when she told me about her first, because I was still processing her growing up, and boom she’ll be a mom?! She was 24, and 4 years younger. I still feel that way sometimes, cause she’s also petite and that certainly doesn’t help. I know this is possibly not what this is, and I don’t know what your sister’s going through, just thought I’d share my experience.

@Sara Thank you for sharing your experience! May I ask how you reacted to your sister’s pregnancy news, even though you were in shock? You might be right that it’s hard for her to process or respond, but would it be too much to expect at least some acknowledgment of my pregnancy? I can’t help feeling very hurt by being ignored in such an obvious and harsh way. I don’t even want to bring this up because I’m worried that opening up this box of difficult emotions could be even more painful for her – or worse, that she might lash out and deny it altogether. It just feels so overwhelming and impossible to resolve, which is why I’ve just gone silent. I know that’s not the best way to handle it, but I feel so powerless..

It must really hurt and I feel for you a lot, as you love your baby and want your loved ones to tell you that they love your baby too. But, if your sister really wants a baby and thinks it might not happen, the pain of hearing other people’s pregnancy news might be unbearable. Try and give her time. She won’t realise how much it’s upsetting you because, to her, your life is wonderful and perfect. It’s such a tricky situation for you both.

I’ve been your sister and it’s so hard, I was even having a miscarriage the day my best friend told us she was pregnant, I said congratulations but then I did kinda disappear for a few days in the chat to work though how I was feeling so I could then be happy for her so maybe give her time? I also unfollowed family on Facebook after baby announcements because it was too hard seeing them getting what I nearly had. Hopefully in time she will come round and be the best aunty, sometimes to be there for people you love you need to put your feelings aside, put on a brave face and be happy for them…then cry in the car on the way home 🥺 and hopefully one day she gets to be a mum too x

I’m really sorry about how this makes some feel. I wish I understood this, but I don’t. I didn’t react nor did I feel like reacting in any way. I was scared for her petite body, but otherwise I was extremely happy that she was and is happy and getting what she wants. I don’t think a sister should be kept out of the loop this way, maybe not flood her with news and such but on some level she might want to join you on your journey. Maybe help her realise that being an aunt is amazing, because it is. I don’t know how this helps, but sharing my piece.

Hi ya, as so many previous posters have already helped convey what it must feel like for your sister, I won’t go over those. Instead I’ll focus on how you can cope with your own disappointment and unmet expectations. It is tough not having family be openly encouraging and supportive but I think you just have to try and accept this as what it will be for the time being. In future there may be a change in her behaviour for the better. I don’t know if you can speak to her to ask her how she would like you to communicate with her. I do find it very one sided with her flooding you with life updates it seems she is not going to broach the subject so you could give it a go - coming from a place of wanting to help and support her and also to explain what your own needs/expectations are.

It can be hard for both of you....must be even harder for her, is really hard to find a reliable man for family. This Is very sensitive and painful topic for many women...probably she is suffering, and is hard for her to acknowledge her feelings...you obviously want her to be happy for you, she is your sister, you grew up together...I can understand both of you..many friends won't be happy either if they are single and with no kids, that's why woman with kids loosing lots of friends immediately

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community