Drives me nuts

My mother in law always has to put her two since everything, especially when she knows what I like and don't like. She always goes against what I say with my daughter and tells in a way tells me she knows what's best. All because she raised 5 kids herself. She always wants my husband to do everything for her and come see her all the time. She gets mad because he does not always do what she wants and blames me for it. Saying he never disrespected her until he met me. I'm sorry that meeting me, I helped him grow a bone and not have his mom walk all over him. No matter what I do for her, she always cuts me down. I think she knows even more mad at me because I chose a home that 35 mins away from her. We used to live 5 mins away from her. The part that annoys me is that my husband always wants me to have a bigger backbone to give into some of the things his mother wants a little more. So i can stay on her good side more. I said I did that quite often already it never helped me the past for the 10 years we have been together. I just don't understand stand why I always have to have a bigger backbone. Why we always got to change our way to let her get her way. The way I look at it is that this is my house. I'm going to have it my way, or she can be mad.