Feeling very lonely

Posting incognito just in case. This is my second successful pregnancy and I’m feeling very on my own with the whole experience. My first pregnancy (with my now ex-husband) was pretty smooth. He made me feel super attractive, forever told me how he loved how much I was changing and would shower me with love. 7 years after my first child, I’m with a new partner and we’ve just bought a house as well as having a baby. It could not be a more opposing experience. He barely looks at me, I’m told I’m lazy, he heavily criticises everything I seem to do (I cannot do anything right it seems). He moans because he has to cook and take the dog for a walk (his dog he purchased with an ex - I don’t expect him to do anything for my child which he doesn’t anyway and just says no to him all the time). I have never cried as much during pregnancy as I have even just this past week or so. Tonight’s disagreement was about the fact that he’d promised to stop drinking during the week in my final trimester and has gone out every night this week to buy drink (I made a comment and he turned it around on me saying how he’s annoyed at the scenario, why can’t he have 4-8 beers on a week night he’s a grown man, poured them all away and said how he’d done as I wished). My little boy can sense that I’m not okay at the moment, he’s started handwriting me notes to tell me how much he loves me and how I’m the best. He told me I need taking care of because I’m pregnant and he’s forever giving me cuddles and kisses to cheer me up. Not sure what I’m looking for with this really. Has anyone gone through something similar with their partner? My circumstances are tricky because I’m emotional due to going through an ectopic a year ago this month (with the same partner who was super supportive when that happened) and that has absolutely frazzled me (on top of sorting everything out - solicitors, house, mortgage etc whilst working full time in a quite high pressured job). I’ve spent an absolute fortune right as I’m due to go on maternity so I could get us our own house, and I’ve tried to make it as homely as possible. My little boy is also undergoing investigations due to stomach issues and I’m just feeling very overwhelmed I think. All I can seem to do is cry and then I get “what’re you crying at now?” :( - I just feel a bit stuck in a rut I think. Any advice welcomed!

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He seems like an ass! He should be looking after you and your child not putting you down and making you cry! As you ain't crying for no reason which is what hormones do... You are crying because he is a complete cock end... Is the house in yours, his or both? If in yours then kick him out and tell him to come back when he can respect you because would he like someone to treat his own mother or sister or whatever like this!? Or simply sit him down tell him how awful he is being and if he doesn't care... Let him go... You will not be happy, your son clearly won't be happy as you ain't and you said he never helps with him and tells him no... That's wrong and now you've another child you are going to bring into this toxic environment, I'm so sorry you are going through this and you shouldn't be... He should be treating you like the queen you deserve to be instead he is treating you like a trash can 😔

I can’t advise really, but I wanted to say I’m so sorry and I really do hope you get through the rest of your pregnancy with peace and calmness. Ignore your partner - simple as. I’d tell him you always remember how people treat you when you’re pregnant. You didn’t forget how you were made to feel in your first pregnancy and you’re not going to forget this one either. And I’d say that you trusted him to take care of you in times like this, not bully you. Men can sometimes get overwhelmed with all the change as reality sets in and can go through a phase of being a bit unkind and stressed - fact is that it’ll only get harder for him when baby is here so he needs to take some time to adjust to the situation and learn how to be more helpful and less resentful because you’re doing something that he can’t repay with acts of service. My dms are open if you ever need to speak. Ignore him and do one thing that makes you happy each day, prioritise you and your babies 🤍

Hmm... do you want honesty? It doesn't sound like this relationship will last based on what you're saying... or at least it won't unless he has a fundamental rethink about how he treats you. To start with, if you're in for the long haul (buying a house, having a kid), why doesn't he do anything for your son? Secondly - calling you lazy, putting you down? That's emotional abuse. Thirdly - the drinking! 4-8 drinks is a lot midweek, but I think you know that. Is there any reason for this change in behaviour?

I’m really sorry you’re going through this! I hope you can find the strength to be open and frank with your partner that his behaviour is not okay. You need his support now more than ever. It’s easy to say but if things don’t improve move on. It’s better to be on your own than carrying a 3rd man child. You and your little ones deserve to be treated better than this.

1. Your first child seems like an absolute angel… his cute little notes to you 😭 2. You deserve better.

Hello my dear , I’m very sorry that you are feeling this way. Your son is adorable 🥰. If he doesn’t support you now that you are pregnant and he behaves like an a Asshole what is he gonna do when the baby arrives ? An advice is to sit him down and have an honest conversation with him about what upsets you in his behaviour, do that when he is sober and calm only . If he doesn’t want to talk about it then you have to take a decision and move on . Right now you need someone who will love you , respect you and support more than ever and if he can’t do that then he is not the right one . I really hope you have some family near you to support you! Wishing you a smooth pregnancy and delivery!

This is so sad :( Get away from him take your son, it could be worse when the baby arrives, you need to find family or friends to help you, sorry to be blunt but im worried for you and your son, your partner sounds horrible with a temper, keep baby away , stay with a relative while you arrange yourself to be safe and away from his toxicity. Wish I could help you, so sorry ypur going through this, hold your son close , big hugs ❤️

Leave him?

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