SIL has been VERY insensitive

I know this is about MIL and I have one from hell. But I need to rant about my SIL at the moment.
On the day my son was born and we announced it to family, her and my brother announced they were having a baby. Literally I sent the announcement post in my family group chat that my son had been born and the first message after was her announcing she was pregnant with a scan picture? I found it really uncomfortable and upsetting. I didn’t see why they couldn’t wait to announce on another day. I spoke to my brother about it and he just said they just wanted everyone to know. My mum was very upset with them and spoke to them both and told me my SIL couldn’t understand what she had done wrong and felt like I wasn’t happy for them. Off course I was happy for them but there’s 7 days in a week you couldn’t announce on another day it just had to be the day we made our announcement (yes she saw the message before she sent hers so she knew).
We then had a family gathering for everyone to meet our son and a naming ceremony. They turned up and my SIL gave my mum a gift and asked her to open it in front of everyone. My mum opened it and it was a pink teddy bear saying it’s a girl, my mum was quite confused at first until my SIL literally screamed ‘congrats you’re having a grandaughter’. My mum just looked at me and I had to leave the room. I put on a front and was happy for them but I couldn’t believe she did that at my son’s naming ceremony. Maybe it was the hormones but I was so upset and just avoided them. Now every time we see them she makes comments to my mum like ‘oh isn’t it so nice you’re gonna have a granddaughter to go shopping with and get your nails done with, you couldn’t do that with a boy’
‘Aren’t you so glad you’re not having another grandson’
I just find the comments upsetting and a dig at me?
Now the final straw, when we were pregnant we told our family what our girls name would be as we only had one choice and was set on this name. And at the naming ceremony she asked me what we would have used for a girl and naively I told her.
She announced the name and it’s the name we were going to use. Yes I know they’re having a girl first but this would have been a name we would use if we ever had a girl and it was a family name on my husbands side that meant a lot to him. I called her out on this and she said claimed she never heard us say this name and she found it online and it was the only name she liked. It’s not a common name at all and I really doubt she easily found this name online. We just left. I’ve tried to speak to my brother but he just says I’m not happy for them and I’m jealous.
I feel sad as I want my son to know his auntie and uncle and be close to his cousin but I just feel so hurt by all this. And they can’t even see what they’ve done wrong.

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Gosh that sounds soooo disrespectful. I'm sorry you have to put up with that 😔

Put it in black and white for them…explain how would they feel that on the day they have their daughter if when they told your family you were to post that you were pregnant again? Or how would they feel if straight after their notice that their daughter arrive you posted a video of your son taking his first steps? How would they feel if you took over their daughter’s special naming day and made it all about your son??? I bet they would be pissed!!
There are some occasions when it is RESPECTFUL to not share your special news and if they can’t under that then there is something seriously wrong with them!

Does she have a close family her side? It sounds like she’s going to be a nightmare and continually be in competition with your child and maybe be aware of that going forward. Unfortunately I can see her doing this over and over again.

Sheeeeeesh. I’d be super pissed off too. There’s so many moments for them to share their own news. It’s like she’s just trying to “one up” you every time. I’d definitely be taking some space. And it’s not like you’re not happy for them but like also are they not happy for you/husband and your son’s exciting stuff?
Also completely random side note: what if her daughter doesn’t like shopping or getting her nails done? What if she likes trucks and typical “boyish” things?? She gonna love her any less?

Just WWF her next time you’re all in a family gathering.

thank you! This is what confused me could she not read the room and know it wasn’t appropriate. I’m seeing them tomorrow and I’m going to use these examples to explain my frustration

no she doesn’t. Sadly I agree she’s always compares our pregnancies, I think I’ll take a step back when her LO is here as I can’t stand comparing children

she isn’t happy for us whenever we share pictures/videos she never responds to any of them but expects us to constantly gush over her scan picture and bump pictures. Before she knew the gender she kept saying it better be a girl and that she hated the thought that she might be a boy mum 💔

Sounds like your SIL is a total bitch :) I don’t think she will acknowledge that what she did was wrong, but it was very wrong. With people like that it’s best to distance yourself, don’t trust her and try not to care. She obviously is in a competition with you but you don’t have to participate in that competition…

Wow SIL sounds horrible! I bet her behaviour is all because she’s jealous of you. I bet she’s super jealous you had a baby before she did and so she’s determined to ‘win’ at everything else. At least your mum is on your side!
I’m so sorry she stole your girl name 😢 That’s so upsetting

Use the name if you have a girl. Fuck them.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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